Another damned chapter..

i need a change..

2009-07-08T21:27:00.003+08:00

How do you deal with the ghosts from your past?

You're trying to move on with your life.
You felt like you've moved on.
As soon as you think you have let go, it jumped right up in front of you.
And you're helpless.
And you still think about it.
And you still question about what went wrong.

Ghosts.

It haunts, and it's scary as hell.

LMAO

2009-06-04T11:07:00.002+08:00

This is not for the faint-hearted.

Not so pretty-boy now, is it?

Tears, Laughters, Excitements....Everything!

2009-05-15T14:07:00.006+08:00

Has anyone seen tv lately?

Now i would like to remind myself that i have been following up a couple of tv dramas and reality shows for the past couple of months and i am still loving/hating them. Bah, hate them when it has predictable outcomes but LOVE them for their entertainment value.

Ever since youtube, ppstream and kan kan xun lei have been introduced into my life, i'm in heaven! I haven't been worrying about downloading shows that i wanna watch into my lappie and fill up all my hardisk space. I'll just have to install a few softwares and open them up whenever i wanna search for any movie/shows to watch. Wonderful, amazing technologies. hmmm..

Here's a list of the shows that i have been watching..

Clockwise L-R: Prison Break, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes

And here's a list of the reality shows that i love/hate.

Clockwise L-R: MTV's The City, MTV's The Hills, America's Next Top Model.

Well, there's a couple more that i failed to find a picture but i don't mind mentioning it as well like The Fashion Show, Project Runway, Survivors etc. Phew.. I sure am making myself busy, am i not? Hee...

Hello, nice to meet you, you

2009-05-14T19:07:00.006+08:00

I know there might not be any people who is Still checking in this passive blog once in a while but what the heck.

I have this sudden urge to say something and i am less-vocal than i have been since.....ever. So i've decided to blog about it, unless you don't think talking to myself is crazy. Yeah, the 'talking-to-myself' is happening again and altho i've promised myself that i would stop that crazy habit of mine, but i think i can't help myself. Sometimes a girl needs to be in her own world where it's comforting and familiar. Some place that she thinks it's the safest to say anything without having people to judge her. Some kind of a breather.

sigh

right now, i feel like i am buiding my possible future with someone whom i want there to be in my future. But how come it still doesn't feel right sometimes? It is me and my own little overprotected world that made me take things for granted and thinks that everything is gonna go away when you start looking at other things and everything's gonna be fine by the end of the day when you've forgotten about it?

i used to think that being with someone that constantly pulls you down and telling that everything you're doing is wrong and utterly immature is wrong. But when i think again, dig deeper into it, i know that it was all me, i am making life harder for myself. I am still wrapped up in my own little comforting fake world, that i don't see the things that are happening.

this is what i have concluded.

1. I have been very forgetful nonwadays - not that i am getting old or not using my brain cells (or maybe i am not) but it's because i tend to push unpleasant things/events into the back of my head and not acknowledging it until i forget about it. Till then i turn my focus to things that i liked. Not so mature, isn't it?

2. I like to stand up for myself when i am being accused/told that i'm wrong - erm, where do i start? I am capable of bursting my blood vessels everytime someone tells me that i am wrong, but i won't. Why? cos i would make myself believe that they are delusional and they are the ones who's wrong. BUT i won't tell them, i would just think that they have their own thoughts that i dun neccessarily have to agree with. Then i realise, i have always been like this and giving one excuses after another and you know what? this is not helping me be a better person, right? i guess my stubborness just adds a capital 'Y' in 'Yes'.

3. I am still a child - metaphorically of cos. No matter how many times i tell myself that i'm a grown up, i am still a little kid in me. Mentally and emotionally for that matter. (i looked 28 physically, so i've been told, many times) I have been shielded from countless of things in the past and i dun think i'll ever get that chance to go through the past again. i live in the present, so.......i should worry about what i should do now and not worry about what have i have not done or what i should have done in the past, right?

So, it's a pretty intense self-discovery if you'd ask me. But i had a feeling that there is so much more that i don't know about myself. 'Your boyfriend sometimes knows you better than you know yourself becos you are always together'. This saying is sooooo true in my case. HAH! i just made that up! LoL

Previously on....

2009-03-22T16:32:00.004+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen,

Good news!

I am still alive.

Heh, heh.

You know what? After my last post, i felt a little bit childish and unneccesary. I'm sorry guys if you felt like i was talking about you. To those of you whom have asked me about it, please.... relax.

I'm sorry but i felt kinda hilarious and ironic at the same time that some of you felt like i was talking about you when i'm not even sure whether the person that i'm talking about knows that i'm referring him.

But *sigh* After a while, i just let myself forget and buried the agitation that i felt then. It's so tiring to hold a grudge onto somebody that you cared for, ya know? Hehe. Maybe he don't realise this still, but i think i'm gonna confront him and apologise for my sake. AND ask for explanation from him, of cos.. :)

Oh, will be updating about my tioman trip when i have the right time ~~and the right mood.~~

In the meantime, i'm gonna go and layan ppstream for now. Ta~

Betrayal..

2009-02-17T11:44:00.004+08:00

Again, i felt like i have been deceived by one of my dearest friend.

If you don't want to come, just tell me.
Don't ever make up any excuses being busy of work and just forget that i am once your friend too.
The weird thing is, no matter how busy you are with work, no matter how limited your time is, you seemed to be no problem when it comes to your other 'friend'.
Do i need to remind you constantly that i'm still here?
Or i'm just a piece of puzzle in your past that don't matter anymore?

Wait, OH! I get it, maybe i'm not one of those who 'truly' understand your situation. Ok, so let's make an appointment, maybe i will make some of MY time to go and visit you instead? I've let it slide once, but i don't think i can this time. I can't becos i have nothing to feel anymore. I'm not THAT pissed off, like i didn't care any longer. Bah!

Ah, watever. Maybe i'm just over-reacting. Can't blame a girl for throwing a tantrum, no matter how ridiculous it may sound, can you?

The answer is, no, you can't.

Hot n Cold

2009-01-21T12:06:00.004+08:00

Today has been the perfect time to blog. I'll let u knoe the reason soon.

Has anyone notice the change of the weather recently or is it just in Melaka that the sun is glaring but the ray does not pierce through the skin or the 'chun feng' aka 'spring wind' (direct translation) is blowing like ice gliding across your skin? Imagine my frustration when i can't even enjoy my time at the mamak without having my teeth chattering against each other.

Patience.

Spending most of my time in the shop haven't been a problem to me until recently. The air-con in the shop haven't beeen working this efficient until recently. I have no idea if it was due to the lack of people in the mall or because of the weather outside that made me shiver. What had it left me with? Jackets. And occasionally some tissue paper.

Patience, patience.

First, i lost my voice, then came the sore-throat. It must have been the worst kind of it becos it woke me up a couple of times during my sleep. My throat felt like it was getting scaled with a thousand needles everytime i swallow something. Each time, it was so painful, i had to clench my jaw together tightly. It was acted on impulse and my gum suffered the most. I tried almost everything from drinking lots of water to strepsils to chewing raw cucumber with salt. I didn't consult a doctor immediately becos i didn't want to have more antibiotics into my body for small matters like the influenza. So i tot i could bear thru the pain for just a few days more until the bacteria retreat with my own antibody. THEN the coughs join the parade and my throat just went crazy. Lastly i HAD to pay the doc a visit and spend an amount of money for medicine that i already had and advice that i already knew.

Patience, patience, patience, i say.

Now that the conditions are getting better - the wind is still strong but i wasn't staying out late anymore, i'm not shivering in the shop anymore, the antibody is slowly triumphing over the influenza - i'm feeling better. But the reason why today is a good day to blog is . . . .

1. i feel like blogging
2. i have been in the shoe of the dumb (=vocal loss) person for a couple of days where i have to use my hands to communicate with other people. I'm glad that he's good at lips reading. And blogging? It makes me feel less vulnerable.

So, it just made me feel so awesome and grateful to be normal again, to hear my own voice again. I swear there was a time where i freaked myself out thinking that i'll lost my voice forever.

LOL

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T11:16:00.003+08:00

If u would have asked me how i celebrated my Christmas this year, i would say it's not bad. But that actually depended on how u see it. First of all, i just wanna clarify that i was never used to feel excited about the festive seasons like the rest of the people. Some liked it becos it gave them an excuse to go out and drink a gallon of liquor down their throat. Some like it becos of the atmosphere that it created somehow make them feel like they are in the western country (the fake snow, snowman, etc.) Some like it becos it gives them off days and some like it becos it gave them a opportunity to spend some quality time with their friends and family. Me? I belong to the last category.

I was really looking forward to see everyone gathered together on special occasions, goof around, laugh at or with somebody, eat and be merry. I was looking forward to search for the times that i've lost with my friends and family. But in life, the things that u wanted isn't easy to get.

Sigh.

Maybe i should have put more effort in it. I realise we tend to overthink everything that hasn't happened yet.

Sigh.

Maybe this isn't the time for me to grow up yet. But if i don't grow up now, when? Is growing up means drifting away from friends and family?

However, the Christmas i had this year made me think of the Christmases that i've been thru last couple of years. It was fun! :) This year, it was fun too. But it involves a tiny bit of loneliness and exhaustion. Just a tiny bit.

So, Merry Christmas people!

Thirsty for more..

2008-12-12T11:47:00.009+08:00

Ok.

There will be no surprise that i will be writing more on the Twilight in this post. So, bear with me :)

I have been on a crazy Twilight-hunt these couple of weeks. I've searched high and low for all sorts of media where i can find anything about the books. There's currently 4 books that have been completed by Stephanie Meyer; Twilight, Eclipse, New Moon and Breaking Dawn, the whole complete love story between Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan a.k.a Bella. These books was written from the 1st person's point of view (Bella) and there will be another extension from the saga called Midnight Sun where it is the exact story of Twilight but this time from Edward's point of view. *grin*

First, i would like to highlight that the movie was great, not in the sense that it portrayed every inch of the story from the book but it kinda creates a whole image of how they characters would look like when i was reading the books. Well, it makes the pictures in my mind clearer. Yeah, it wouldn't be fair to condemn the 2-hour long movie and say that it didn't really caught the essense of the whole story, or the movie left out a lot of interesting conversation have taken place among the characters. But you know what? It's not that hard to understand the movie once you've read the book. Plus it will enhance all the excitement that you felt towards the characters. Hehe.

Needless to say, i have been promoting a lot to my friends (S.M. should pay me for this) and demanded them to share my excitements! I realise that internet is a very good source of entertainment when you really look for it. CAUTION: pelf, if you're reading this, please stray away.. *sorry* I've downloaded the saga's e-book and audio book and get the same satisfaction from them.

Tee-hee.

So, why not you join in the fun too?

It has been so long..

2008-11-26T12:16:00.004+08:00

This was a familiar feeling but was long forgotten. It send chills down my spine whenever i think about it. It makes my heart churns and warm when i think about it. It makes me stop breathing for a nano second whenever a think about it. Ahhh..... it's such a bliss to find this kind of feeling again.

I'm lusted.

I'm infatuated.

I'm obssessed.

I'm lost of words to describe this feeling.

My, my, I'm in love. SO in love with you, Edward Cullen.

The sexy, strong and beautiful. :) :) :)

Animes and dramas

2008-11-22T10:34:00.002+08:00

I've read from Kristen's blog some time ago talking about a japanese anime that has her and many of her friends go crazy about it. Honey & Clover wasn't specifically my type of anime maybe due to the slow pace of the story or maybe the lack of many superpowers and actions. Well, i tot i couldn't survive the first episode! BUT, i did, with a huge grin on my face. Frankly, i tot i was gonna drag thru the whole season but as i go along, i find myself wanting for more. (altho it didn't make sense to me why a 18 year old girl has a body and attitude of the 7 year old).

Anyway, i just found out that there's another version of Honey & Clover aside from the anime and the japanese drama. I sooooooooo wanna see the taiwanese version. I've looked up and down, searching in blogs, websites, forums, etc and i found it! Hmm, they say it's a HUGE let down but i still wanna watch it becos Joe Cheng is starring as Mayama. *droooooooooool*

I can't wait!

Intruders!

2008-11-21T13:20:00.003+08:00

A major pest have just came uninvited into our shop and it's really frustrating. it's not like they are here for a couple of days or weeks. There have been here since FOREVER and i don't think they'll leave anytime soon.

Huh?

What am i talking about?

ANTS!!! Well, it's winged ants, to be exact. But i can't identify if they are termites or fly ants. I just see their "young ones" but not the "queen".They just waltz right thru in and dig their way out from the wall and build their nest on the wall and cardboard boxes. I will need to call the pest control soon or i don't even dare to imagine what's gonna happen to the shop.

Will they stay there forever or they will just be nomad after they have laid their eggs and then wait till they mature and leave? Do i have to find out about their lifecycle now? sigh.
It's an awful sight, i tell you.

I TOLD YOU!

2008-11-21T13:11:00.002+08:00

Yeah!! I finally found one layout that i love and you all can comment in my posts.

I could have done it with my previous layouts too if i wasn't the html retard like i always was. I still am. Hehe

Just another day

2008-11-15T10:34:00.003+08:00

I begin to see the silver lining.

My rainbow is coming back tmr.

Finally.

Fairness

2008-11-14T15:00:00.005+08:00

It seemed like i was destined to be the only child but that was never the plan. I remembered my dad telling me to be obedient and don't make my mom angry when i was in my rebellious teenage years. Reason? She's gone through tough time and felt like she's lost the most important things as a woman. Ever since i was born, i was showered with all the best things that my parents could give me. I have the best clothes. I have the best food. I don't have to fight with other siblings which tv channel to watch. But my freedom was taken away from me.

A child's ultimate responsibility is suppose to make their parents happy. I guess i did not hit the target enough. Listening to the 'jokes' being said slash my heart like a burning knife onto a candle. I could not control my tears and i have to hide it from them.

I'm so confused.

I have received so much and i need to give back. I don't know how. My shoulders are so heavy, it's aching. So is my heart.

Being a filial daughter or being a good gf and possibly a good wife?

The reasons why...

2008-11-11T14:54:00.003+08:00

Two words: I'm BORED.

The top 5 reasons why i'm bored.

1. Although you are sick of me whining about this over and over again, i'm gonna say it still. I'm all alone in TK22 for like...5 days now!

2. I haven't got any new childish PC games to keep me company after Go-go Gourmet 2: Chef of the Year, Cinema Tycoon 2 and Supermarket Mania.

3. My Bitcomet is sometimes slow in downloading tv series. Current downloads: Heroes epi 8, The Hills epi 14 and Gossip Girl epi 10.

4. I miss him.

5. I yearn for the day to go by faster so that i don't have to listen to sad jazz songs in the shop!

Sigh, i think too highly of myself. I thought i could survive a few days of serenity. Hehe. Me ayudan! (=help me in spanish)

Going away - Part 2

2008-11-08T10:43:00.002+08:00

Although i hate to say this, i am kinda liking being alone in the shop. I haven't felt this care free for a while now. Well, i guess i needed a little break from him after all. Too much of anything is bad for your health, right? In my case, it's the mental health. Hehe.

But i know i won't feel this way after a few more days.

Oh ya, did i mention that he missed his plane yesterday? Shucks!

I'm currently sooooo into Paramore's album, Riot. Loved it, loved it, loved it!!

TV review

2008-11-07T11:00:00.005+08:00

WARNING: Spoilers ahead!

I've been following up the US hit series, Heroes for the third season now and it's still got me wanting for more. All the excitements, the super powers and the twists are getting more and more errm... outrageous. Some even say that it may have jumped the shark. (Ahoy~). Jumping the shark does not literally meant jumping into a pool full of shark. Well, it's just describing that the story is still going on and on and has come up with many other ideas (good or bad) which have deviated from the original story.

Does Heroes match the description?

In my opinion, it did - a little bit-la.

Well, the reason i said so is because at the very end of season 1, it showed that the villain, Sylar has finally been killed by Hiro Nakamura and with all the other heroes in the scene. Everybody assumed that Sylar is dead because that's how the story in the first season was leading us to. "Save the cheerleader, save the world", right? So it meant that saving Claire from Sylar and in order to do so, KILL HIM!

BUT

Sylar did not die in the second season instead was brought to a remote place for him to recover. So, i really don't have much of an idea what is the main story of the second season. Was it that they was trying to introduce what is the "company" (Primatech) doing? In this season, the Primatech became the villain instead and was trying to harm the other people with special abilities. Not to mention the scene where Sylar met the siblings somewhere in mexico (?) and came to America to find cure for Maya. I'll have to say, where the hell did that came from?? Then they wrapped up season 2 by having Nathan in a press conference, trying to reveal to the world about them in order to help them And was shot by somebody. . . . .

There you know there's definitley a season 3 coming out! Hehe..

So yesterday was the season premiere of Heroes on Astro, i'm sure fans of Heroes are all ready in front of their TV with popcorns in their hands. No doubt, they started off with a bang, having to know that it was Peter from the future that shot his brother at the press conference in order to stop him from telling the world about their super powers. Ok. That was twist no.1. Then as usual, there's introductions to a lot of new characters such as Tracy who has freezing hands, Daphne with super speed, an african guy who can see the future along with a few more villains that has been a prisoner at level 5 of Primatech.

Well, i find myself hard to keep up with the constant twists in the show. Ok, let me put it up straight.

1. Nathan happened to come back from the dead and thinks that he's the messengers of God. (weird). What happen to his wife and his children? Anybody?

2. The african guy who can paint the future miraculously can see the future the same way Isaac the painter sees them and not to mention that the paintings are also the same. Come on, give some special effects or at least change the painting ya?

3. Dr. Suresh is creating his own powers but failed and now suffering from the side effects. Plus, he's with Maya and tried to kill her. erm. . .

4. Tracy who looked exactly like Niki, wasn't Niki but is 1/3 of her twin sister. So that means if Tracy and Niki died, that will NOT be the end of the career of Ali Larter in Heroes. AND she's with Nathan now.

5. There's another company that has surfaced called the Pinehearst which are recruiting an "army" (to fight?) and run by Peter and Nathan's dad, Arthur whom they thought were dead.

and now, the biggest twist for me?

6. Sylar became a good guy in this season. Not only that, he's Peter and Nathan's brother.

Ok. Now i have no idea where this season is leading us, the fans but it seems to be having some kind of war between Primatech with the new Pinehearst company. Is it still Good VS Bad? Or is it Husband VS Wife? Pinehearst may seemed to be the bad guy right now. But who knows? Maybe the story will be totally twisted over and Primatech is be the REAL villain all along.

Now, the story may have been totally jumped the shark but for me, i wasn't thriving for the originality of the story. I was just looking for thrill, entertainment and excitement from the show so i guess it's fine with me, for now. So stay tune for the upcoming episodes of the Heroes on TV ~~or you can download it~~

So, go Heroes!! Save the world!

Sigh, if only you can save the environment along the way too.. :)

Going away

2008-11-06T16:43:00.008+08:00

He's only been away for 15 minutes and the feeling of loneliness already set in. Can i survive another 9 days of loneliness? You bet i am really looking forward to the days when he's coming back.

oh, attention to anyone whom are not interested in reading about relationships and stuff about what happen in between a relationship whatsoever, please navigate away....

So, i haven't been blogging lately because i wasn't in the mood in doing so mainly due to the peaceful time that i lacked whenever he's around AND he's around 24/7. Don't get me wrong, i love having him around. Even though that means having someone constantly picking out at my wrong doings. It's very frustrating, underappreciated and annoying all at once. But how can i say that i don't like being with him when i felt something is not there when he's not there? When i laugh, cry, giggle or scream, i laugh, cry, giggle or scream harder whenever he's here. Get my drift?

I'm not a love guru or anything like that but what i'm experiencing right now it's just a little taste of reality, i think. I haven't figure it out yet, but right now i think that's what it is.

I heard from somewhere saying that when you're in a relationship that you don't feel pressured by your other half, then you're really in love.

I'll have to disagree with that. You can think that i'm a sour grape but i'll have to stand by my tots. I'm not a pessimist, people who knoe me, knew that i am anything but that. But that didn't stop me from preparing myself to face the harsh reality of this world. Seeing what's happening around the world right now, i'm not as naive as i'm used to be. Well, i have to admit that i'm still very thin-skinned, lack of EQ and social skills and easily scared off by unnecessary things. At least give me a little credit for improving. Nevermind, coming back to what i'm trying to say, being in a relationship with someone does not necessarily means you have to be mushy-lovey-dovey 24/7. At least i am not use to being like that, nor is he (thank god) but come on, does everyone have the same definition of what is a relationship?

Who say that we have to follow a set of theories as to how to be a couple? Is there a "Guide to be in-love for the Dummies"?

I have to say, the relationship i'm in right now may not be perfect for most of you. But to me, it's as good as it gets. It'll only be better.

So, i shouldn't complain. I'll wait, no matter how long it'll be. That's the thing i have to endure to grow up. Cheers to me!

Birthday wishes

2008-10-30T12:10:00.004+08:00

I couldn't remember when was the last time i've celebrated birthdays together with my girlfriends back in Melaka. When was the last time i've shared birthday cakes with my friends? When was the last time i've gone present hunting with my friends? Hmm, nope, i don't remember. So, before i forget any further, here's a shoutout to you all.

To yewmiin and yooyee, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

p.s: we ought to go out and have fun more often. It's LIFE! hehe.. Cheers!~

A Cat into a Bat?

2008-10-25T11:08:00.002+08:00

We've been working on another DIY project for a few weeks (including some procrastination) and it's finally finished!

This is a more different DIY because we're turning a KitKatQ into a Batman. Well, for those of you who don't realise it still, the latest Batman costume consists mostly of black and a tiny bit of grey and golden colour. So in order for the DIY to stand out, we've decided to add structures to the original figurine using moulding clays. It's tough, but in the end it's all worth it.

It's hard to be using the current moulding clay that we're using because we have to face with the cracking prolem once it dries on a round surface. Anybody have any idea where i can find a Polymer clay?

Anyway, here's a clip i've composed on youtube. Enjoy!

Knowing one self

2008-10-20T13:58:00.007+08:00

I'm not used to people standing up to me and slash about my personality and attitude. But i got it once from a friend whom i tot was close to me. From him i hear things that i never would imagine coming out of his mouth. For me, most of what he said was really harsh and untrue and little did he know, it burnt me pretty bad. Maybe that was his intention from the beginning because he thinks i did something which i might daresay i did not. But nobody knew i wasn't given a chance to explain myself let alone defend myself. But it doesn't matter now. Thanks to him, i was given the light to think from a third person's point of view every time before i do something.

It begin to dawn at me what is my biggest problems when it comes to communicating with other people, especially with friends.

I guess i've always wanted full attention from my friends - i want them to tell me everything. Everything as in anything i want to hear, anything that does or doesn't concern me, anything that other people may or may not know. I want it first hand. I want me to be their first priority in everything.

Too OBNOXIOUS!

I get angry, i get jealous, i felt betrayed.

Why?

Again, i was accused of being selfish because i pay more attention to what i love and not give a damn to what i have less interest in.

May i term that i was 'accused'?

Accused when someone say something that was not true about me.
Not accused when someone didn't know that he was saying something that was not true about me.

Accused when someone say that i did something wrong which i didn't think i did.
Not accused when someone did not think that he was mistaken to think that way about me.

So what happens now if between 2 people, they both have their own mentality and understanding of each other? what happens when one person sees the fuller half and the other sees the emptier half? Can they ever see that it is from the same cup, eventually?

Knowing one self

2008-10-20T11:54:00.006+08:00

When i am alone, i used to talk to myself a lot especially when i wake up in the morning and getting my shower. I don't know when i started this weird habit of mine, but it sure is comforting to be talking to someone who will give a 100% attention to me. I know it sounded crazy because i love talking to someone who is not real. I never realise how crazy i sounded until one day out of nowhere i told Damon about it. He wasn't concern about at first because he said people talk to themselves all the time. That's what i tot too but the more i think about it, the weirder i think it is because when i talk to myself, i create a whole 'conversation' with my 'imaginary friend'. Is it still normal to have an imaginary friend when u're 23 years old? Hmm....... I'm afraid that i might developed a spilt personality if not insanity.

So, i stopped that habit though it took my quite some time. I need a focused mind to control myself. I slipped once in a while because it came so naturally once i had a chance.

Then i begin to find possible reasons why i'm constantly have the urge to talk to myself. Maybe is due to the lacking of conversation with my parents, maybe it is the lacking of siblings whom i can share my thoughts with or ask for my opinion on anything. Or maybe i'm usually the wallpaper whom people won't pay much attention to when u're there but lack of something when u're not there. Maybe is how i present myself that people think i don't care about them. I just wanna say something which i want people to care about what i said. No matter what the reason is, i won't let it haunt me for the rest of my life because life is too short to dwell on the past. I want to improve. Just give me some time and to those whom i may have come across to be a weirdo, hehehehe i still AM!! Nah, just kidding..

Bear with me a little longer, will u?

2008-10-19T17:00:00.004+08:00

Just a couple of days after we have returned the puppies to their owner, we realised that it was the worst decision and the biggest mistake ever. Every morning my parents would be having their morning walks in the neighbourhood and every now and then they would go on a detour to visit those little puppies at their home. My mom told me that she everytime she went she saw less of 1 pups in the front yard. At first she thought that the owner might keep them in the house as they fear the pups would run away again. Curiously, my mom had a little chat with the owner of the pups, the wife to be exact. Then she discovered the truth about the pups - they belonged to a vietnamese couple. One pup have been sent to KL and had disappeared in less than 2 days there. LUCKY!

Yup, lucky if compared to the other 2 pups remaining here because my mom said that she was told that the dogs were meant to be their delicacy.SICK!! I felt so sorry for the pups and so was my dad. I pleaded my dad to ask for the pups back but it was not possible. Well, it was heart breaking to know that those pups won't be able to grow up and lead a normal dog life. I keep on asking myself the 'could have', 'would have' and 'should have'. But in the end, i just couldn't digest the reality of the dog eating culture in Asia. I Do know they consume dog meat in countries like Korea, China etc to keep their body warm during winters but why don't you spare the pups in a hot and humid country like Malaysia? What is gonna happen next? Produce veggie dog meat for the vegetarian?

I was dumbfounded when i found out about the pups and it was happening at my very neighbourhood. No words to describe how i feel.

I never meant to offend anyone, i'm just voicing out my thoughts...

2008-10-05T11:42:00.016+08:00

I fell in love, again.

Three days ago, while i was still in my deep sleep, i was awoken by my mom saying something like "Come down and see the them, they are so cute!" I was really reluctant to get my butt out of the bed but i tot, what the heck, it's already almost time to get up and i am kinda curious about what my mom said cos she sounded so excited. Oh well, i dragged myself out of bed. With messy hair and un-brushed teeth i went downstairs and i saw something moving at the back of my dad's Pajero. To my very delighted surprise, there were 3 little adorable puppies jumping out and down in my dad's car. heehee. so cute. *drool*

While i was playing with the puppies, my mom were telling me that she saw them outside, wandering about and mischievously playing with each other. So afraid that they may be run over by cars or getting bullied by naughty children, my dad decided to keep them in the house until we found their owner. I mean, they should have an owner because they were taken care very well. They were fed well, groomed well, but no dog tags.

This morning, my mom heard from a neighbour that another neighbour have 3 dogs that ran away, and they were too lazy to go look for them. Of course we were very reluctant to give it back although that was our original plan. But, but, we have just started to bond with them and they obviously liked us. But sigh, they still belong to another owner ~~altho they didn't even bother to come look for them~~.

Nevertheless, they went home to where they came from. I couldn't have the ability to keep them but i'll always remember the tiga sekawan. Always. Well, that's my 3 days of joy.

Uno

Dos

Tres

Tres mejores amigos

2008-10-04T12:38:00.002+08:00

I saw a familiar face this morning while i was having my breakfast @ Ming Han food court. A very familiar face, i knew i know this person from somewhere but i couldn't get it out from the back of my head as to where i see him before or who i see him with. But he is alone. I get flashes of memories going through my mind but i just couldn't piece them together.

My first reaction is to just keep quiet because
1. If i know this person well enough, i will surely remember who he is.
2. If he is someone whom i've seen when i was younger, then he wouldn't recognise me even if i said hi.

So, i see no point of acknowledging him until i finally remembered where i've seen him before. Instantly i tot, "Yikes! How rude was I?" Even he's a family member of someone from my painful past, i shouldn't treat him like invisible. "Shame on me." I said to myself. He didn't do anything wrong to me and yet i pretend as though i didn't see him. I felt ugly. Very very ugly. I know now that if i hate someone too much, i tend to forget everything else that's good. But i just realised that it didn't matter anymore. I finally have let go entirely. No more grunges.

Suddenly i felt so free!

oh, i apologies for those whom can't read between the lines.

2008-09-23T10:41:00.013+08:00

Custom DIY - Day 3

Continuing from where we've left off, we started painting the pants, adding details to the belt and shoes such as the the shoe lace before moving on to the most critical part of the whole figurine, the Tattoo.

Let me explain why the tattoo is the most important part of all. Firstly, it is one of the most distinct look that our customer requested. The fact that we have to draw a tattoo onto the hand was already challenging enough, the tattoo has to be in old english. The FONT, darling. The font. tee-hee.

*Note to self: If you have shaky hands, forget it.

Now, almost everything have been done, but let me go through my check list.

Tattoo - checked!
Belt - checked!
Black Bathing Ape T-shirt - checked!
Short, spiky black hair - checked!
Converse shoes - checked!
Blue jeans - checked!

YESSSSS! Complete!

2008-09-08T12:05:00.007+08:00

Thanks to Uzair, i came across this awesome clip on about love between human and animal. Go and watch it and don't be a pervert!

2008-09-06T11:06:00.007+08:00

Custom DIY - Day 2

After lining out all the details there is to be drawn, then we started painting the basic colour; the hair and the t-shirt before going onto the more specific details.

After all that's done, then we move on to more specific detailing such as the belts, the Bathing Ape logo on the t-shirt and the converse shoes. At the end of day 2, we've finished 60% of the details and it looked something like this;

Not bad, huh?

2008-09-03T13:34:00.010+08:00

Custom DIY - Day 1

The DIY project that we've been working our ass off have finally paid off! We have customers coming in asking about DIY figurine and some even asked if we do DIY service. As a matter of fact, we do! You're more than welcome to have your figurine custom made here.

A couple of days ago , a customer of ours came by and ask if she can order a figurine for a friend. She was looking for something special and one of a kind so she want a custom made figurine with her friend's signature look. (Aww..) Of course, ideas came pouring out and in the end we have come out with a look of her friend, complete with special details.

We have chosen to use this 8inch Qee MonQ cos it looked the most like human. We used another colour, silver (on customer's request)

So, what's the criteria to differentiate this Qee from many other different Qee?

Tattoo
Belt
Black Bathing Ape T-shirt
Short, spiky black hair
Converse shoes
Blue jeans

There's a lot of detailing needed to be done because most of the criteria is really specific and we wanted to do the best we can to create that look for our customer. Our day 1 into the project is first lining out all the specific details by sketching the look that was wanted on the figurine and started colouring the hair.

Phew, so much more to go.

But no worries, will keep you updated ya! Stay tuned for day 2 :)

2008-08-30T11:34:00.003+08:00

Humour VS Stupidity

I enjoyed watching standup comedies my friends and i downloaded back in my uni days. My first ever standup comedian was Pablo Francisco which is very well known for his movie voice-over and many other voice imitations. After a while, i got bored with his acts because he almost kinda repeats the same thing again and again. Then i began to watch another comedian, Carlos Mencia which i find him really speaks his mind (rendering his show's name Mind of Mencia later on). He mostly loves to talk about people, about their race, about their attitude, about how people get so fake and not speaking their minds. Hurtful, yes. Truthful, hell YES! He specifically loves to pin point at stupid people. NOTE: Stupid as in ordinary people doing stupid things, not mentally challenged. He referred them as D to the power of 3, also known as "Dee Dee Dee". Anyways, As you may not know, i have been working at Dataran Pahlawan nearly 3 months. In this short 3 months i have heard a few stupid stories from other sales person around here. One of the most outrageous one that i have heard is really hmmm......racial?

She used to work in a Hush Puppies in KL and one day she was serving a Malay lady as she browse through the clothes in the shop. Then out of nowhere her husband came in, wanting to drag his wife out of the store. Reason given? The store is "tak halal" because the clothes are made out of dog skins. Wtf? Ever heard of 'linen'? Cotton, at the very least?

Then there's the other incidents that i have encountered myself throughout these couple of months. I tell you, this is by far, the stupidest things i've heard customers say.

A bunch of people came into the shop and they had all the 'just-looking' look on their faces. So i thought they might just go off after feasting their eyes. Then one of them saw my presence and then the stupid words came pouring out of their mouth.

Guy 1: Excuse me miss, may i steal your stuff ar?
(Laughter)
Guy 2: Eh miss ar, this wallet is for RM5.00 is it?
(Laughter)
Me: ~~You think you very funny is it?~~ Yeah, but it is US$5.00.
Guy 2: Really?
Guy 3: But miss, if US$5.00 it is a disadvantage for you what. (original price is RM49.90)
Me: ~~It is because you're so clever to think of that funny line, you're more than welcome to take it. FOC!~~ Nevermind lor, pretend as though i give you for free lor.
Guy4: Eh miss, this watch why so expensive? I don't think the product is worth the price leh.
Me: ~~Why don't you just shut the hell up and put it back if you don't plan to buy?!~~ Oh, because this watch is entirely handmade out of wood ma.

So, maybe they think that they were very funny, great sense of humour. Come on, that is just plain D to the power of 3. Dee Dee DEE!

2008-08-19T13:00:00.005+08:00

I've been surfing a lot of youtube lately, A LOT of youtube when i stumbled upon this video clip on magic. I was watching this handsome guy speaking japanese with a slight American slang. Instantly i thought, "Hmm, sexy. ." But nevermind that.

Cyril Takayama is named the Criss Angel or David Blaine of Japan. He is a great ~~alien with supernatural powers~~ illusionist with really cool tricks up his sleeves. His strength is making you believe the impossible and gives you goosebumps. Never fails. He has been onto many shows and appeared a lot on special events like the hosting Japan's MTV Video Music Awards in 2007 and appearing in 2007 Taiwan Golden Horse Award show. Anybody who's interested in finding out who the hell is this guy, please type Cyril Takayama in youtube and you'll see plenty of his actions.

I couldn't get enough of his tricks and i specially loved these two. It is so cool, almost scary.. *gulp*

2008-08-18T15:42:00.004+08:00

2. China's Liu Xiang have been really famous ever since winning the world title in 100m hurdles.Everybody is putting their bets onto this one because he is the first and only Asian to be in posters of NIKE, running, AND have a dozens of other athletes trailing behind him. The pressure is on, specially when there's another athlete from Jamaica who is neck to neck with him. I can't wait to see if he can break his own record in the 100m hurdles and win the gold medal once again. But the question remains, can he do it with all the weight on his shoulders?

Stratch that.
Liu Xiang had injury on his right foot before his big moment.

Is it a coincidence?

Or is it a plot?

2008-08-15T11:15:00.005+08:00

Is anybody watching the entire Olympic games?

I know i wasn't ~~due to the obvious reason~~ but i managed to get a few glimpses before i go to bed. So is it true that athletes will do better when the play in their own country? or it might turn to worse with all the pressures being raised by the supporters? In the 23 years of my life, the number of times that i've encountered with sports is really little, if not none. So maybe because of this, i was never alert with the world of sports and what's happening and who's who in what game. I saw a few games, some good, some bad. Let me recap of what i've learnt about the athletes and their games.

1. China basketball team has 3 players who have been recruited by the NBA namely Yao Ming, Yi Jianlian and Wang Zhizhi. STILL they couldn't win because the USA basketball team is FULL of NBA players. Their first match together isn't too bad, at least they didn't lose that terribly. But i'm excited to hear that China team might have a chance of entering the quarterfinal after their win against Angola. YES!! I was quite disappointed by the supporters though for boo-ing the other team when they have their free throw. Where's the spirits guys? Friendships first, medals second, hello?

2. China's Liu Xiang have been really famous ever since winning the world title in 100m hurdles.Everybody is putting their bets onto this one because he is the first and only Asian to be in posters of NIKE, running, AND have a dozens of other athletes trailing behind him. The pressure is on, specially when there's another athlete from Jamaica who is neck to neck with him. I can't wait to see if he can break his own record in the 100m hurdles and win the gold medal once again. But the question remains, can he do it with all the weight on his shoulders?

3. China women tennis player Li Na have successfully won the quarterfinal yesterday against USA Venus Williams. The score is 5-7 for both sets. I think it is quite incredible for an Asian tennis player to win against a defending world champion. But instantly there have been some speculations around my house saying that she must have eaten steriods, or the opponent have not been feeling well. But why nobody thinks that she might have won fairly and squarely? That's what they call "tit ang keng" (translate in cantonese, it meant unbelievable) but come on, we'll see what happens when the urine tests are out, ok?

4. I've learnt so much about Ping Pong yesterday watching the game between China and Australia single. My dad always say that i have not have a single strand of tissue in me for sports so he love-hate explaining the rules and regulations to me. But he did anyway. I've just known that each sides of the Ping Pong bat works differently. Kinda like the Yin and Yang. One rubs the ball forward and the other backward. Now i know why the player always hide the ball behind their body when they service over. (So that the opponent wouldn't know how to counter their attacks, silly!)

Ahh, Olympic. Who say you can't learn by watching tv?

2008-08-02T11:35:00.008+08:00

Are you familiar with Qee? It is pronounced as ‘key’ and is now one of the hottest vinyl toys on the market right now. The history of Qee stretched more than 10 years ago, created by a Hong Kong artist, Raymond Choy. I obviously had little knowledge on the vinyl toys until recently because i thought this figurine is the new, modified version of some other figurine. With the bear more hunched back and the unsymmetrical ears, i thought it was just another ordinary but newly modified Bearbrick. Gosh how wrong i was. Despite that they look kind of similar at some places; they are both very different from each other actually. Maybe i will elaborate on that later but first this;

Qee has been popular on the market for quite sometimes thanks to the mind of Raymond Choy to crossover Qee with other animated characters from all over the world. Not only that, recently there has been competition organised by Toy2r and Megabox where you can sign up for your own Qee DIY artwork. This is where i wanted to bring you all.

As an amateur, we started out by just cutting out patterns and shapes from mobile phone stickers and stick it onto the blank Qee. It seemed easy at first then i realised it isn’t. Looking at how much hard work that was put into one DIY figurine practically scares me because it needs your 100% concentration, patience and mostly your passion. It made me think twice if not thrice whether i am up for it. Up to this day, i still haven’t done one of my own. I am, however still learning visually all the proper techniques and preparing myself mentally and maybe physically as well. Some sketches have been drawn and boy, i can’t wait for my turn.

Anyway, these are the outcome of our first work. We call it “The Posh Qee”. Let me know what you think.

Front view

Side view

Back view

2008-07-30T11:07:00.005+08:00

Most of you may already know that i’ve just graduated and attended my convocation around 2 weeks ago. Yeah, i’m officially not a student anymore. Throughout the 3 years in Terengganu, it had been a wonderful and bitter-sweet experience.

I’ve met a lot of new friends, learnt a lot of new skills,but most of all, it made me grow older and wiser. Friends, some of them were incredible, some of them were so-so, some were Hi & Bye and some were just ph5. Okay, that wasn't the case. Maybe the ph5 was a little deviated to the bad side but my point is, no matter what kind of friends they are, they still teach you lessons required to survive in your lifetime.

Good friends teach you how you can help each other out and be each other’s pillar of strength when we needed it. Normal friends teach you how you can improve your friendship and turn the ‘normal’ to ‘good’. What i meant is that every ‘normal’ friend is a brand new individual that you can experiment with and transform him/her into your next good friend. First time maybe you add some sincerity and maybe the next you can add more of the initiatives and dedications onto it if it is still not enough. Bad friends simply teach you the most lessons in life. In my dictionary, bad friends don’t necessarily point to your foe because i don’t hate him/her and neither does he/she (i hope) hates me. I categorised them as someone whom you don’t despise, but, not necessarily a good idea hanging out with them.

I’ve bumped into a couple of normal friends from the very beginning and eventually we turned into good friends and stucked by it throughout the time i spent in UMT. I regretted that i did not make extra efforts to really get to know more of the other normal friends that i see every day. But some just turned sour and went to bad. THAT, i regretted even more.

Things happened so fast just like 3 years flew by in a blink of an eye. However, there are things that you think you can control, but only realising that you cannot a million lightyears too late. That is when you know you’ve grown up and face the ugly side of the reality. But hecks, everybody know there are only very few pretty side and some of them may have taken a few glimpse of it if they are lucky enough. Some even say there is no such thing. I’d like to see it as you can choose whether you want to believe it or you don’t. So there, i choose to believe that there is indeed such thing because it’ll give me a little boost to strive for it.

2008-07-30T10:57:00.002+08:00

I’ve lost my interest in blogging ever since i’ve moved to the hostel during my 3^rd year in UMT. Despite the fact that i’ve been pretty occupied with the academics, i’m guilty for spending most of my time doing something else rather than blogging during my free time. Sure the lack of internet connection made me even lazier to blog but that’s enough. I know myself well enough that i wasn’t inspired by anything at all and most of all, i feared that all i’m going to blog about is how frustrated i am and how i’m going to complete the mission impossible to finish my thesis and finally get my degree.

Nonetheless, today an old friend of mine came by to visit me and we had our little chats about her new job and how we use to blog (she still does), i felt a pang of guilt for abandoning my blog for such a long time. ‘Karat’ is the term she used to describe my long forgotten blog. Then it got me thinking about the reason why i started blogging in the first place. Then i realise it was because i needed someone i can confide in and pour the contents of my heart out. Blogging was the best substitute for actually looking for someone to be there for you. Growing up as the only child didn’t help me to socialise well and to be open enough with the people around me. So i figured, well, i needed someone to talk to and i don’t have to be shy facing it. Blogging seemed ideal. Then i went on registering myself a new account and started to be a blogger. You see, i wasn’t any good of a writer and i don’t know how to make my posts interesting enough for my readers wanting for more. The number of times that i’ve used the word ‘blog’ or ‘blogging’ in the past couple of sentences proved my point. But i went ahead and do it anyway. Then i came back to present time and see myself abandoning my blog when i think i no longer needed it made me ashamed of myself. With this, i had a rush of ideas going through my mind on what i can blog about in the coming future.

I almost forgot the excitements that i used to feel choosing new skins for my blog and going through the templates to change the style that i wanted. Ahh, felt just like home.

Thanks, my friend. Little did you know, you’ve given me a great inspiration and i’m so glad that you took the initiative to drop by and say hello.

2007-10-09T13:39:00.003+08:00

I knoe and you've probably noticed that i've mentioned this a MILLION of times before: I HAVE NO TIME TO UPDATE MY BLOG! I remembered the times when i was so stressed out and bored and need some place that i can blurt it all out, i always blog. ALWAYS. But ever since the 5th semester began, it never seemed like the right thing to do anymore. I would be thinking if i have the extra time, i would rather just go to sleep or do something about my fyp. Ok, i was bluffing. For some of you out there, you might notice that i've recently developed the unforeseen habit to talk on the phone ~~very~~ quite frequently but that did make me abandon my blogging habit. Or maybe it is because i haven't had any interesting story to tell other than how my life had changed with so many stuff going on at the same time.
But i'll tell you this!
I'm gonna enjoy my long semester break starting this thurday cos i'll be leaving on the plane tmr nite and will be reaching ~~civilisation~~ LCCT airport in about 1 hour. Then i'll be doing some catching up with my girlfriends back at home and make a trip to KL and have MORE fun. (",)

Shall update again when i get back to Melaka.

Got to go now, it's time to be sending pian and azri off to the bus station!

2007-09-04T14:01:00.001+08:00

Need your attention, PLEASE!

I got to know that they are selling live turtles in TESCO, China. How insane can that be? I knoe that they have been a popular delicacy for the Chinese community but do they have to torture and kill the poor creature to THAt extend? It's disgusting, really. LUCKILY, we can do our little part as a conservationist, marine biologist, or even just a warm-blooded human being by signing this petition in the hopes of stopping this stupid activity. Don't think that this won't help. NO! That's just so narrow minded and short-sighted because if everyone thinks that way, then nobody will ever take the first step to try to make the world a better place. Remember, every little thing counts! So help out now! Sign! Sign! Sign! If my words haven't convince u enuf, then try this.

Animal Welfare - Inhumane Killing( Paul Davis - Turtlesco )

Tesco butcher these turtles while they are still alive, with no pre stunning. The procedure used to butcher them is to cut the head off and then to crush it. Until the head is correctly crushed, destroying the brain, the turtle can remain conscious throughout the procedure. If the head is not correctly crushed, the turtle's severed head can continue to remain conscious for up to an hour before it dies.These turtles are known to move their neck and head with lightning speed and can easily withdraw into their shell. This can make the butchering task very unpredictable and far from easy, only prolonging the pain and suffering of the turtle while it is being butchered ALIVE.

God bless the turtles! :(

2007-09-01T16:09:00.001+08:00

A picture paints a THOUSAND words. What's more if there's four?

2007-08-30T20:45:00.001+08:00

Huh?

So, what's hot lately? Aside from the weather, i came upon the new video clip by the infamous muar rapper (and i even had it in my handphone) and i must say, he has definitely done it again and getting very very bold. But how can u blame the poor guy from voicing out his true feeling about the true incident that is going on in this country? Wait, i don't want to go to jail for this but... u can't help but to agree on what he rapped about. I think people like him is getting really really rare, people don't say things that are on their minds, things that are real, things that are really happening because "it might put you in a lot of trouble". Are we secretly waiting for someone like him to appear so that he could talk on behalf of us? Are we secretly admiring his gut and thinks that he's our hero? Come on now, i for one really liked his sarcastism, humour and talent.
I found out (thru real experience) that human being are always selfish and minding their own business because i have seen a snatch theft incident at a reataurant. After it happened, the 2 poor women were really shocked and sat there for quite some time before calling up some friends (or maybe the police?) But, my point is that in between the time after the theft and before they leave the place, nobody actually took the initiative and walk up to them and somewhat offer them some help. That included me. How sad is that? I felt really bad afterwards but to think back, what can i help? I don't want to appear as tho i'm trying to be the heroine and make the matter bigger than it is, neither do i wanna go over and said something that might turn out as an insult to them. I was thinking that there's basically nothing i can do to make them feel better so why go? In short, i din bothered to talk to them, my butt was safely harboured onto my seat and i continue to dine, altho i couldn't resist to turn my head once in a while and take a peek on what they are doing rite then. But see? if i am not selfish, shouldn't i NOT think about how they would see me and lend a hand to them anyway? Sigh
So now, i am back in Melaka for the Merdeka Celebration becos ~~im such a patriotic person~~ my mom asked me to since i haven't been back for quite some time now. Nonetheless, it felt great to be home, to sleep on my bed, to shower in my bathroom, but without my Melaka friends? It's too damn sad and bored. Luckily i have with me the 3 complete seasons of Family Guy and i am still not sure if i like the cartoon. Well, it's too soon to judge since i've only watched 2 episodes. Hehe. Just keep my finger crossed, eh? (",)

ps: my sampling starts next week. so, it's a loooooooooooooooong way to go. *excited*

2007-08-18T11:14:00.001+08:00

One down, more to go..

Well well well, i can't believe it! The proposal presentation is finally over. In fact, i am still in MK5, still in the middle of the presentations. Muahahaa, i just couldn't resist the temptation of the ~~sucky~~ internet since living in the hostel has no broadband or streamyx ~~and i'm just too lazy to go to the library~~. Ah, but this is something to celebrate about, after this i am going to KL! Yipeee! Sorry jimmy, u go work, but think on the bright side, u are going to Melaka! Eh, wait, doesn't that sound funny? hmmm.. Nevertheless, there will be more tests, assignments and lab reports AND my projects going on later on so i see this as a time to relax before starting on the heavy work load. I know it sounded more like an excuse, but a girl gotta do what a girl does, rite? Pamper! hehehehe

Aaaahhh, imagine the relieved i'm feeling now, it's a bliss! Okay then, i'll try to update whenever i can, just that i am not really in the mood ever since the starting of this semester. I'm sorry guys! :)

2007-08-06T10:45:00.001+08:00

Still remember me, i hope..

Firstly i would like to apologized for the looooooong gone urge to blog due to some really hectic and roller coaster ride since i came back to UMT. Well, i think everything started when we moved out of the rented house and got into our new hostel, which is pretty satisfying, honestly. I never thought i'll be this happy to be staying in hostel again. I mean, seriously, it it so much more comfortable, much more convenient and much more privacy, altho sometimes u'll feel too quiet especially without the internet access and the "family" coming over and hang out. But what the heck, i'm already here and it'll be easier that i stay focus on the goodness of the hostel. You'll see what i mean; i got the big room, 1 really nice roomate, window with curtains, cool breeze blowing on the 5th floor (minus the makcik jual karipap, i hope), liveable new wardrobe, my own study table, beautifully tiled-floor toilets and staying the same block as the rest of the girls. Okay, enuf of the hostel.Moving on would be my lectures this semester. All the classes have been brought forward and filled in on Sunday till Wednesday, which means we have the Thursday, Friday and Saturday off for the weekend. It's great, isn't it? No, not if u knoe the reason behind it. We are given the extra "offday" so that we can carry out our final year projects without any excuses saying we do not have enuf time to do it. Shit, talk about pressure. I just wish the other lecturers don't take advantage of the extra day to do more field trips. Shit, did i mention we went on a field trip to Redang for Fish Parasitology last weekend and going to Kerteh for Mangrove this coming week? Yeah, like we get to enjoy our Thursdays. Not only that, we have 2 labs at nite every Tuesday and Wednesday from 8 till 11pm. Aren't we lucky to be staying in hostel?? *phew*
Now that things have settled quite a bit, ~~altho i'm still going nuts about my proposal~~ i am more relieved that one field trip is done, the tedious eco-physio lab is finished, my modules for the fyp is half way thru and i got a clearer idea on the work load that i'm gonna face this semester. Sigh, campus life is so dead yet it will be the best time of our lives. How ironic is that?

2007-07-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

2007-06-26T14:22:00.000+08:00

Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder

It makes me wonder, how did a relationship between 2 human being became so complicated? So complicated that whenever u think of it, it just brings everything down and u can feel the sadness in the air. Are we all playing games in life? Games that you tot u can control, in the end u might have just lost wiithout even realising it. Is it every step we take, every word we say and every decision we make , we are actually playing a game, with a target far away that u are going to win? What is the real intention behind how we present ourselves to other people, how we speak or how we act? Is it to leave an impression to other people that allows people to remember u or make him or her think of u in a certain way? Do you feel more superior when u've succeeded in LYING to other people? My mind is flooding with all sorts of questions right now and it just pull my spirit down. Can anyone help me to see this matter in another light? And for those of you who knew me well ~~if i did not lie to them about myself, that is~~ i need very solid statements to make me change my mind.

2007-06-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

SCARY!!

I believe this is the first time i've encounter someone being so direct to wanting to get to knoe me, altho the "technique" is a bit cheesy-cum-scary. Well, the story is like this; I was on my way home, walking towards my block and entered the elevator with a couple of other people inside. When the elevator reached the 7th floor, i came out and went straight to open the door when i realise someone actually got out of the elevator with me. I turned to my side and saw this i-duno-what-kind-of-race guy but my guess would be Pakistan-ish, but well, that's not important. Then he kinda uttered something which i can hardly hear but at the same time he was showing me the feeder bus's ticket so i ASSUMED that it was mind and i dropped it. I was thinking maybe this guy is just being too kind, that he actually got out off the elevator just to return the ticket to me. Then seconds later my tots went thinking that this guy is weird becos if i'm home already, i won't need that ticket anymore so there won't be any use to return it back. Either one, i didn't wanna be too bothered about that so i slipped that ticket into my pocket. When i got into the house, it still didn't occur to me that something is wrong until i showered, emptied my pockets and i realised i had 2 tickets instead of the one i slipped in earlier on. THEN i saw there was a phone number and a name, assuming that number was his and i was laughing to myself for being so stupid. Then it striked me to the very core. HE KNOWS WHERE I LIVED! OMG!! Oh, did i mentioned that his name is Muhammad? YIKES!! HELP!!

2007-05-24T12:21:00.000+08:00

One more month to go!

I can't believe it has been a month since the first day i stepped into Aquaria. Ok, i am not gonna sound too obssessed with it becos i wasn't! Just that i miss diving in the main tank so much, sometimes i find it hard to concentrate on other tasks. GUILTY AS CHARGED, i know! hehehehe.. However, i am just waiting for the day when the divers would call me up becos the head diver promised me he would, when he train the new mermaids. THEN, i can join in and go skin diving! WOoHOO! Speaking of which, a couple of friends there have asked if i wanna try out for the mermaids. I mean i am interested but for the obvious reason, i dun think i can. People who paid to get into Aquaria wouldn't want to see an overweight mermaid playing in the water. LoL. Anyhow, here's an actual mermaid show in Aquaria and i'm proud to say that she is my senior who did their internship there last year. She has became one of the best mermaids there is in Aquaria (or a lot of people i know claimed that). Check this out!

Cool eh?

I have been back to Melaka each time i have my offday. Altho it is just one day off becos i need to go over to the dentist to get my teeth deep-scaled. According to the doc, i am having Periodontitis. What? you asked.

"Periodontitis, Pyorrhea, or gum disease, is a disease involving inflammation of the gingiva, which, often persisting unnoticed for many years in a patient, can result in loss of clinical periodontal attachment between the teeth and the surrounding alveolar bone. This differs from gingivitis, where there is inflammation of the gingiva but no loss of clinical attachment; thus, it is the loss of clinical attachment around that differentiates between these two oral inflammatory diseases."

-source from www.wikipedia.com

There you go. It scares the shit outta me the first time the doc told me what my condition would become. From then on, i never tried anything stupid like skipping the time to brush my teeth thoroughly, floss it or watever u can do to keep my gum healthy. Going to the dentist had taught me an expensive lesson and there are more where that came from. I have only went deep scaling twice and 2 more to go. Each time the fees would be RM140 (deep-scaling + injection). I have to tell you this; the first time i went there, i couldn't help but to visualize the horror of visiting a dentist like the one in Happytreefriends. If anyone remembered, you'll know what i mean. Yikes!

2007-05-19T15:18:00.000+08:00

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way
You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to
Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets
No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

2007-05-17T18:15:00.001+08:00

Bad day?

I must have gotten down on the wrong side of the bed this morning cos i have been on a string of bad luck. First, my socks got really loose, then i didn't get the time to get breakfast, followed by finding out i have interrupted schedule for the whole day, after that i spilled some stinky water on my freshly washed pants, then was told the person that i *might* be interested in is REEEEAAAALY a playboy, then fell on my butt in the freezer and broke my phone. Enough said?

Ah, i couldn't even be bothered to make this post understandable to you. I just felt like grumbling.

2007-05-10T18:46:00.000+08:00

Diving..

I have been in the living ocean tank for a couple of days now, the everyday routine is tunnel cleaning, scrubing of the "corals", vacuuming the sand and waters and also feeding of the fishes. Wow, the experience was intriguing because i am diving with a tank full of fishes, sharks, rays and eels. All kinds. Although it is not like diving in the open sea but i think it's a good place for me to practice my buoyancy ~~which still sucks~~ and i get to identify the fishes as i was diving. The turtle was particularly hungry becos it loves to come near me and bite my fingers, sigh. Today i did something new; i tried filling up the empty tank and learnt how to use compressor. After the cleaning of the main tank, as usual, i came out of the water, went to disemble the equipment and getting ready to shower before my supervisor, Kak Zila started calling people up to help. Help what? Well, i found out later that the huge fan-tail ray was sick and they need to carry the ray up to treat it. The process of catching the ray and carrying it into a quarantine tank is really a lot of work and very challenging especially when the ray is about 1 meter (or more) in diameter. It took 4 divers, 2 people from facilities, 4 aquarists and me; a total of 11 people, plus minus. But he experience was Awesome! Anyhow, i should bear in mind that i have to becareful when dealing with animals, no matter how tame they can be becos animals will always be animal and they do attack when they face danger. It's their survival! (remember Stave Irwins?). Ohyeah, i almost forgot. the other day when i was cleaning the tank with the other divers, Damon, a part time diver found a shark tooth and gave it to me. COOL! hehe. Should update more of my experience next time. pretty zapped out. ta~

2007-05-06T13:30:00.000+08:00

My first 3 days..

I have been an intern in Aquaria for 3 days now under the supervision of Kak Zila from the CSA department. So far, it has been interesting days. Within these 3 days, i got to learn a lot of stuff about fishes in aquarium, what they eat, how they eat it, how many time they eat it, how much per serving, etc etc. And luckily, i still have the notes from Biology of Coral Reef from semester 3 becos it turns out that it really comes in handy if u are working as an aquarist. In a nutshell, i'm just gonna say the place looks fine, it's pretty systematic, the people there are really helpful ~~altho some of them loves to bully us~~ but i couldnt help it but to say it is pretty small. So, many without any or much knowledge on the marine living organisms may find no excitement at all becos they are just looking for something crazy or extraordinary to WOW them. Or wait, if they have not much knowledge on the animals, doesn't it require less to mesmerised them? oh argghh! i'm not making any sense at all..
haha, oh well, im dead tired, my body aches and yewmiin are not back yet. SO BORED! i'm just gonna lie in bed the whole day and enjoy my 1 day break. See ya!~

2007-05-02T17:35:00.000+08:00

The day before D day..

I woke up around 8 this morning, laze on yewmiin's bed, watching Mind of Mencia for an hour or so and then took my shower, and headed out. I was planning to make a trip from the place i'm staying to Aquaria KLCC so to estimate the time needed to reach there ON TIME! So i was looking at the time when i waited for the elevator, it was 12.33pm. Then i took a bus, reach the STAR LRT to Masjid Jamek and change to Putra LRT and then to KLCC. When i was at KLCC station, the time was 1.22pm. So far, i haven't got to Aquaria, YET and it took me almost 1 hour. After that, i did not take the route from KLCC to Aquaria because it won't be open before 10am so i took the long way, AROUND KLCC to reach Aquaria and it took me about 12 minutes. Damn, if i have to walk like this every morning, i'd be thinner in no time! LoL. Then i counted the total time for me to reach my destination is about 1 hour (or more), minus the morning rush hour. Aiya, i don't really wanna imagine what it would be like during the peak hours, gosh, it's tiring to be KL people. And my shoes are starting to give me blisters. damn

ps: i'm officially an intern in Aquaria

2007-05-01T20:50:00.000+08:00

I will survive..

Today as the first day living as a KL person and i can only conclude it with onoe word; TIRING. Or maybe i'm just not used to it (yet). *yawn* i'm just gonna do my own stuff as my brain are not willing to let me think what to write about my first day here.. *yawn* gtg..

2007-04-26T20:06:00.000+08:00

Randomness...

Well, first of, i really don't like waiting for people. I don't like the feeling of my plans hanging by a thread just because other people cannot make up their mind or they couldn't be bothered about how i am feeling. Which is why i do not like to go out on dates. You may think that i, as a girl, would typically the one making other people wait for me on a date. Newsflash! You thought wrong. No. I am not saying this to mock anybody just that i feel the need to let other people know why i really dislike being stood up after long hours of waiting. Yes, that's another matter that really pisses me off. BEING STOOD UP! For good reasons, yes i won't mind. But for reasons such as over sleeping, just couldn't match up. It just shows how much sincerity and initiative you put into that date. Okay, now i am getting too personal. Should i tolerate this? No offence. I was raised never to be late and try to be as punctual as possible for anything because you never know what things that u might put on hold for the other party that you're going out with.

Aside from the frustration, i just heard a good news from a Herry, a senior of mine where himself and some other seniors that i am pretty close with had been chosen to enter a competition in USM regarding their final year projects. Pretty cool, ain't it? But this is just so stressful for me. Yes, i typed M-E. Not a typo. Because, with such a bunch of terribly clever seniors, how could i possibly match up? I am sure that lecturers are comparing their batch to any other batches in Marine Biology History. Ha ha, i am not exaggerating, serious! Anyhow, to Herry, Evelyn, Apitt, Uncle Ooi and Dennis, CONGRATULATIONS!! All the best and go win that ~~shit~~ thing!

And lastly, i just wanna blog a little bit about my internship in Aquaria. It is coming so fast, OMG i'm excited, scared and happy all at once. In fact, tomorrow i'll be meeting Pian and Kuan for an orientation at 3.30pm. Shit! I don't know the place, i don't know the people, i don't know what to wear, i don't know how long it's gonna take, i don't know what to bring. Argh, i'm just so messed up. Hua ha ha ha ha ha.. One thing i DO know is i am gonna be myself and there will be 2 good friends being there with me throughout the whole 8 weeks. YIPES! God save me! No, this is not right. I will survive this. Must encounter my fear! *breathe* Phew.. Okay now, Aquaria, HERE I COME!!

2007-04-25T17:28:00.000+08:00

You know how it is when i wanted to go on a movie marathon, i will make sure i got the whole series of watever i wanna watch because i don't like the feeling to be hanging in the air? Sigh, i was just getting started to wanting to watch Grey's Anatomy and mind you, i will most definitely start from season 1. Same thing happened when i was hooked with Sex And The City and yeap, i finish the whole 6 seasons within just a month (plus minus) and i had to watch it in between the "study week" .So basically ~~SATC marathon is interrupted by studies~~ studies had been interrupted by my movie marathon. Now that i am so free, loafing and lazing around the house cos most of my friends weren't back in Melaka, i tot why don't i start one of my marathon now. I just can't wait to get the seasons of Grey's Anatomy and just watch it 24/7. UNFORTUNATELY, i can't seem to find it anywhere. First, i went to Yee Hai (pelf, u are gonna be proud of me) to look for it. I duno what came over me that my first tot was to go get the original one. Huahaha, first time. But HAH! they don't sell english tv series. Bummer! Then from there on, i've tried Ocean and Pasar Malam (for the obvious reason) and also tried Tesco and Popular CD-RAMA but to no avail also. Arghhh!! Where can i get the f***ing CDs??? "Oh, why don't u try to download it on the net, i'm sure it's everywhere." Sigh, easy for you to say, i'm using the freaking dial-up!

2007-04-25T08:14:00.000+08:00

Okay, i was checking my email the other nite, rite? Then i was just browsing thru all the junk mails and couldn't be bothered to see what's in it because the usual would be the updates from friendster saying who has updated their blog, who has left me comments, who sent me a msg or who uploaded their pictures etc etc. Then something from Flickr mail just caught my eye.

At the back of my mind i was thinking it might be what i think it is, but it may be a mistake or somesort. Whichever it is, i was a little stunned.

I didn't know to believe or not because it seems like a scam but why? and how? Erm, i was really speechless and by the time i saw this, it was 10 minutes past 1 in the morning. So, for the sake of good manners, i waited till the next morning before i messaged her and thank her profusely. Initially i offered to pay her back because it is NOT a small sum. But she refused. I don't know what else i could do. And if you are reading this, i just wanna utter a shower of THANKS and i really appreciate it. Maybe it may not be it but i felt like that it is the nicest present i've ever gotten from anyone. Thanks again..

2007-04-24T11:25:00.000+08:00

Do you still remember how it is when u were watching Amazing Race on tv and see all those people fighting their wits off, travelling around the world, trying to complete the road blocks and detours and you wish you were them? Well, i DO! Now that we have our very own Amazing Race Asia, i couldn't help but to fantasize about joining the race and be part of the competition. For me, the biggest motivation would be the travelling and experiencing all those fun and adventurous road blocks and detours and then come the cash. It didn't matter that much altho the cash may come as a good, rewarding bonus. I've always been dreaming about going to places. It would be so cool to open up ur passport and u see all the colourful and different stamps, full on all the pages. Ha ha, then it strucked me one day, that why not i join the Amazing Race Asia? I can, can't i? Then i started wondering who i want to have on the show with me a.k.a the perfect partner. Of course i would screen among my family members first ~~cos it would be easier for me to get permission from them to travel~~ then come my close friends. SO i came up with this 11 names.

1. My dad

2. Shi Ying

3. Pei Yi

4. Yew Miin

5. Yoo Yee

6. Kenny

7. ~~Hamster~~ Kuan Nee

8. Adam Lim

9. Boon Leong

10. Pian

11. Leeann

AND

12. Myself

Okay, here goes nothing. . . .

a. Both members of each team must be at least 21 years of age
1. My dad: JJJJJ

2. Shi Ying: JJJJJ

3. Pei Yi: JJJJJ

4. Yew Miin: JJJJJ

5. Yoo Yee:JJJJL (birthday is on 31th Oct)

6. Kenny:JJJJL (ahh, damn forgot, but i know he's not gonna be 21 yet)

7. Kuan Nee: JJJJJ

8. Adam Lim: JJJJL (he said it himself)

9. Boon Leong: JJJJJ

10. Pian:JJJJL (28th april!)

11. Leeann: JJJJJ

12. Me: JJJJJ

b. Each team is responsible for ensuring that at least one member can drive a vehicle with a manual transmission, and at least one for automatic.
1. My dad: JJJJJ

2. Shi Ying:JJJJL (got license, but don't drive, sigh)

3. Pei Yi:JJJJL (hmm, no comment)

4. Yoo Yee: JJJJL

5. Kenny: JJJLL (ahh, he will, soon i think)

6. Yew Miin: JJJJJ

7. Kuan Nee: JJJJJ

8. Adam Lim: JJJLL (ha ha, when you gonna get the license, eh?)

9. Boon Leong: JJJJJ

10. Pian: JJJLL (he don't even ride his motorcycle that often)

11. Leeann: JJJJL (know how to drive, but NO LICENSE!)

12. Me: JJJJJ

c. Contestants are required to understand and speak English.
1. My dad: JJJJL (Oh, boss ini tarak bagus-lah)

2. Shi Ying: JJJJL

3. Pei Yi: JJJJL

4. Yoo Yee:JJJLL (he prefers to speak in Malay, weird)

5. Kenny:JJLLL (erm.. not that fluent)

6. Yew Miin:JJJJL (had to, i'm just not used to talking to her in english)

7. Kuan Nee:JJJJL (i'll try not to pick on her mistakes)

8. Adam Lim: JJJLL

9. Boon Leong: JJJJL (uncle, must speak slooooow and good british english ah?)

10. Pian: JJJLL

11. Leeann:JJJLL (again, not that fluent)

12. Me: JJJJJ

Hmm, so far so good? Wait till the next one. It kills..

d. All applicants must be in good physical and mental health
1. My dad:JJJLL (Oh, boss, lu ada kencing manis-lah)

2. Shi Ying:JJJLL (accident prone, penguin is a little unstable)

3. Pei Yi: JJJJL

4. Yoo Yee:JJLLL (mental illness,period. *LoL*)

5. Kenny:JLLLL (too skinny and selamba)

6. Yew Miin:JJJLL (it's okkay until she decides to eat vege only everyday)

7. Kuan Nee:JJJLL (weak heart, cries a lot. *Muahahaha*)

8. Adam Lim:JJLLL (another accident prone and sickly fella)

9. Boon Leong:JJJLL (*cough* *cough*)

10. Pian: JJJLL

11. Leeann:JJLLL (scared of the sunlight)

12. Me:JJJJL (bad stamina, huahahahaha)

and lastly...

e. You and your teammates must be willing to travel to numerous locations around the world lasting proximately 30 to 40 days starting sometime mid year of 2007
1. My dad:JJLLL (Oh, boss, lu ada kerja-lah)

2. Shi Ying:JJLLL (damn, semester started)

3. Pei Yi:JJJLL (aiya, still in singapore)

4. Yoo Yee:JLLLL (he is very, very busy)

5. Kenny: LLLLL (he is going to uni dii)

6. Yew Miin: JJLLL (can she leave her bf? that is a question.. haha)

7. Kuan Nee:JJLLL (come on, 4-flatter won't skip class for a month!)

8. Adam Lim:JLLLL (another trying-hard-to-get-4-flatter)

9. Boon Leong:JJLLL (i assume he will be working in KLCC by then)

10. Pian:JJLLL (busy with his designing, i hope)

11. Leeann:JLLLL (she can't cos she needs to talk on the phone with her ehem..)

12. Me:JJJLL (wei, i'm still hoping to maintain in the list, k?)

So, what's the outcome? The conclusion is i couldn't even get a eligible partner to g on the show with me. The timing is not right? The people is not right? I don't know, by the looks of it, the person i would choose based on ~~my own preference~~ this survey is PEI YI!!! Muahaha, my sister from Sungai Udang! Hey, if you're reading this, please keep in mind that i MIGHT be joining the upcoming races in the future, be it the III, IV or watever. And by then, u better be prepared! :)

2007-04-23T15:41:00.000+08:00

Remember i said i was trying out the flickr (using the dial-up) a few days back and uploading pictures at a snail pace (dial-up, remember?) and it took me 3 days to find out the first thing that i don't like about the free version of the flickr. Sad to say, they only provide the maximum of 3 sets for the whole account and it can never be enough for me. Come on, forgive me, i love my stuff well organized. So, i was told to upgrade it to the pro version, which i have to pay $24.95 a year which is like approximately about RM80(how much?). Or is it more? Doesn't matter. The thing is i would really loved to subscribe for the pro version but where do i get the RM 80 plus minus? And if i don't get to subcribe it? My pictures uploaded there would be in a mess. Sigh.. i'm still trying to figure something out.. :) oh wait, is this how they trick people into buying the pro version? i wonder.. hehehehe

2007-04-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

My mom told me at the very last minute that today is my birthday in the chinese calendar. Which means i am 1, oh wait, i am 2 years older now. I'm officially 23 this year. Oh gosh, that sounded so old.. Hahaha.. :)

ps: Mom treat me to a homemade cocktail, and it taste GOOD! Go ahead and try it yourself. Just open up a can of lychee and pour some red wine and Voíla~ Lychee cocktail! kekeke.. ;)

2007-04-22T14:36:00.000+08:00

I know i haven't been blogging for like how many days now? Hmmm, nevermind that. The truth is, i have been pretty busy experimenting with a lot of stuff. I've sign up in flickr and trying to explore all the function there is and trying to understand how the whole thing works. But before i can upload any pictures (coursenite, farewells, new years, etc etc) i need to have streamyx or anything else other than dial-up i'm having now. I had to wait for like an hour (or more) to upload 6 pictures. I can't do that everytime i wanna upload the pictures. Sigh. I got myself hooked up in deviantART (thanks to eve and pian). Well, you guys probably have known by looking at those few previous posts in here. Another thing that i have been experimenting is my new Canon Digital IXUS 800 IS and sadly, i haven't really got the time to play until i am familiar with it and catch the perfect angle to take perfect photographs. I hope the camera won't be a waste in my hands. I am DETERMINED to make good use of it! (Besides, i'll make sure i use it to take good pictures of the underwater). Then there's this reviews i have been addicted to in friendster and i just realise i am into watching Grey's Anatomy. Ahhh, so many thing, not much time. And the latest news is that i might start work in Aquaria on the 3rd of May. Wish me luck!

2007-04-18T16:57:00.000+08:00

You

2007-04-17T18:48:00.000+08:00

global warming proof by ~lundenwurld on deviant ART

I got ya attention, didn't i?

Well, well, i finished my second last paper, with the next one coming up in less than 17 hours. So i came back this afternoon, had a late lunch and then trying to get my beauty sleep before i started revising on the next paper. Then, like i said, i TRIED to sleep on my bed, with the ceiling fan in full blast and the window curtain all rolled up and making sure all my pillows (and many other stuff) are not in close contact with my already sweaty body. I TRIED to close my eyes, picturing that i'm in a cold, breezy place, lying on the grass with the smell of the mists. No, i did not do all that. I just had a cardboard and my towel with me; the cardboard to fan myself and the towel to wipe off the sweat. Seriously, recently has been really hot and stuffy and i am, as anita would term it, sweating like a PIG. Come on now, we ought to start to save the world and STOP GLOBAL WARMING! The world need more people like us to start making other people realise what despicable things we human are doing to destroy our own planet. I can't believe in such a weather in Terengganu right now, there are still people burning their trash every evening. Are they really that ignorant or just plan stupid? If this continue, i don't know how long will it take to turn Genting Highland into a summer villa or Mount Everest into a Mount Hawaii. Err, you knoe what i mean..

Come on la, i don't mind people using refrigerator or air-cond or even driving your vehicles. But at least start of by stopping the burning can ar? Not only the heat, but the smoke, ugh.. Don;t get me wrong, i am not acting all nobel and stuff, it's just that it is REALLY TOO FREAKING HOT and i wanna live pass 80 years old.

Meanwhile, there's this comic strip that is kinda cute..

GLOBAL WARMING VS THE EARTH by ~Spheredra on

2007-04-16T21:05:00.000+08:00

How wrong can things get?

This is the stupidest thing that i've ever encountered about my internship in Aquaria. If u've been reading my blog, i'm sure u remembered that i've mentioned that we've been accepted, altho it is just the 3 of us. So far, after 3 days without receiving any form of formal letter from our supervisor,kuan and i decided to call up Aquaria, just to confirm the date of the starting of the internship. I called the number that Mr. Choo gave Kuan, in case we got any question to ask about our letter.

Me: Hello, may i speak to Miss XX, please?
Her: Yes, speaking here.
Me: Hi, i'm calling from UMT to ask about my internship.
Her: Oh, are you a student of Mr. Choo Chee Kuang?
Me: Yes, a student under Mr. Choo.
Her: Can you call this number to the HR and asked Mr. XY?
Me: Oh, ok.

*Calling the HR*

Me: Hello, may i speak to Mr. XY please?
Him: Yes, speaking.
Me: Hi, i'm a student, calling from UMT to ask about our internship in Aquaria. Is it confirmed and can we know the date when is it starting?
Him: Oh, UMT as in KUSTEM is it? When is your duration?
Me: Yeah, KUSTEM. My duration?
Him: Yeah, your duration as in when you're suppose to start your industrial training.
Me: *stunned* (i tot the reason i called was to ask him the exact question). Err, oh yeah, it is supposingly being scheduled to be around end of this month.
Him: Oh ok. Hold on ah..
Me: Ok.
Him: Your name please?
Me: Koh Chin Hong
Him: Oh, the 6 of you have not been selected and we wanted to inform you earlier but we couldn't find a way.
Me: *misheard* Oh, so how many of us have been selected?
Him: None.
Me: WHAT? None of us? But previously we heard from our supervisor that 3 of us has been accepted and we are told to go and get the letter from him.
Him: Oh, we had another meeting to discuss about it and decided not to take anymore students because we already had enough student from other university that are related to this. So we won't be taking student from KUSTEM and we will send letters to inform you all later.
Me: *Stabbed in the heart* Others? May i know what course they're in?
Him: Same as you.
Me:*BULLSHIT* Oh, i see. So it is the final decision already?
Him: Yeah, we've been come to the decision none of you were being selected. We will be sending official letters to your dean as soon as possible.
Me: *Stabbed in the heart, again* Ok then. Thanks a lot.
Him: Ok. Bye Miss Koh.

Is it me or do you think that that guy from HR is acting a wee bit weird? Because No. 1, if he knows that we are already being rejected, why on earth would he ask about the duration in the first place? No. 2, he didn't even ask what course i am in and he KNEW that the other students are in the same course as i am? Well, maybe he sees it in our CV but come on, EVERYBODY knows that UMT are given the top priority because we are the only Marine Biology available in Malaysia and UMT have been contributing a lot to Aquaria. Something IS very fishy around here.

And what can we do? Later then after we had informed Mr. Choo of what happened, Mr. Choo told us that he SAW he envelope of the letter but haven't got a chance to unwrapped it so there's 2 possibilities. 1. It is the letters for the 3 of the "accepted" students that has been sent to Mr. Choo before they've made the "final decision". Or 2. It is the letter to inform us that we have ALL been rejected by Aquaria. Either one, it is very disheartening. (Pleaseeeeeee, let it be a misunderstanding :() The worst part of this whole thing wasn't that i've been rejected altho initially my goal was to get in Aquaria because i really hoped to work there, but after all this, it doesn't seem worth it anymore. The worst part of it is that we have been waiting for an answer so patiently over a month now because they kept on postponing it week after week. If they could have just made their decision and reject us earlier, we would still have the time to look for other place to do our internship. Now you tell me, wouldn't it require a miracle and a HUGE favour to get into a place that you would have interest in going? Come on, i swear if i got to extend my sem because of their stupidity, i would rather die. I just hope that i don't screw up my industrial training and definitely dun wish to screw up tomorrow's paper. This SUCKS!!!

2007-04-15T15:32:00.000+08:00

WARNING:

This clip is not suitable for the easily offended.

2007-04-15T12:25:00.000+08:00

Beware of the Mosquitoe!

Be warned, the mosquitoes in Terengganu are very aggressive. Look at the mosquitoe bites at various part of my leg. Where's my Enzo? Itchy-man is here.. ENZO!!!!

Just great, right now i can't even go out of the house without wearing long pants to cover up those red dots or rather, patches. Do you know how suffering it is to be wearing long pants, with the humidity inside and the material rubbing against the mozzie bites? ARGHH!!!

2007-04-14T12:25:00.000+08:00

NEW!!

Yeap, i got myself a new skin for my bloggie!

2007-04-10T20:14:00.000+08:00

After weeks and months of waiting, finally, i got news from Aquaria. Well, not directly from them since i have been at home the whole day after i finished my paper this morning. Kuan came back around 4pm and gave me the Log Book and a whole bunch of documents which are related to the Industrial training AND brought me the news that Aquaria had accepted 3 of us. Howoever, the news has yet been confirmed so she's gonna go and double confirm with Mr. Choo tomorrow. Wow, i was relieved and felt like my plans are back on track again. Before this it is all on hold; the industrial training, the application for hostel, the final year project (still thinking) and so many other (personal) stuff. Sigh.. I only managed to sigh..

2007-04-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

SURPRISE!!!

I don't knoe if i am to blame myself for having super long antennaes or i'm always lucky to stumble upon the clues or just that other people is bad when it comes to keeping a secret from me. Either one,i feel bad for ruining surprises that they planned for me. It happens everytime and when the time comes, i don't know whether i should act "surprised" out of kindness or i should just say, "look, i knew that already". Both would make me look like an asshole and a big jerk. Which is why i hate surprises. Despite all that, i do appreciate their effort in trying to plan stuff for me, i still love them tremendously for that. And honestly, after so many things that have happened in the house, i am touched. No matter what the outcome, i will make the best out of it, i promise!

2007-04-09T02:16:00.000+08:00

Finally, Biostatistic paper has past, and im pretty sure that luck is on my side this time. He he he.. Well, after days of battle, trying to remember as many formulas as i can, i hope i can get at least a A- (previous aim was to pass) hahahaha..

*sudden random thoughts*

Inspiration Song of the day,

"Tie A Yellow Ribbon Around The Old Oak Tree" by Tony Orlando

I don't know if its the weather being too freaking stuffy and hot, insomnia or stress caused by the finals, i have been feeling reeally tired and not in the mood for anything. I just wanted to drown in my own world where i can sleep whenever i want, wake up anytime and watch watever movies or clips i have in my laptop. The exhaustion was so extreme, that i'm beginning to have minor gastric, feeling a little light in the head and body and headaches. These past few days have been hectic, trying to eat up all the notes and trying to make myself comfortable around the people in the house. It's not that i am not close to my housemates anymore. It's more like i dun feel like myself anymore. I get irritated and pissed easily and trust me, i am doing as much as i can to prevent anything unpleasant to happen in the house that would be started by me, of cos. I feel like i'm getting more and more withdrawn to myself and i dun feel like sharing my problems with my housemates anymore, felt as tho i am just gonna waste their time and energy becos it is my issue that i still couldn't let the whole thing go. And i trust they won't be any help either so...

Okay, i know i make no sense that i'm actually writing about it in my blog and by the time people read this, they'll know all about it. But hey, this is my space, i respect their right to come and read my blog, honoured even, that people actually take some time to update about me. So, i would expect the same respect from them for letting me write my dilemmas in here without thinking that i'm a hipocrit. And the issue? sigh, i am so tired of having to pretend that i'm okay and that i do not have any feelings for him anymore. I mean yeah, i am okay just that the feelings is still there, ya knoe? The part where we weren't meant to be, i got it and accepted it. But my heart is one hell of a stubborn bitch. Period. gosh, i'm tired..

2007-04-04T14:53:00.000+08:00

I made a "discovery" about how normal human mind works during certain situation. In other words, the typical, predictable and logical common sense.

1. When you get into a fight with someone who always been minding his/her own business, it is always YOU who started the whole thing.

2. When you get involved with a guy/girl who is fairly popular among the opposite sex, it is always YOU who approached him/her first.

3. When you sulk, hide from others and be quiet for the whole day, it is always YOU who are the problem maker.

4. When you voice out your thoughts with good intention to makes things better, it is always YOU who is going to suffer the consequences and blamed for the whole downfall.

5. When you had your future all planned out but was interferred by others, so you tried to do some changes in order to go on with what you've planned. When you do so, it is always YOU that will be labeled as the selfish person that not think of others' needs.

Which is why i really do appreciate people who think outside the box and look at the bigger picture. Now, why do we have to put up with these nonsense if they are the ones who doesn't get it? Sigh.

2007-04-03T09:46:00.000+08:00

I just got tagged.............................................Again

Layer 1: Outside
Name: Chin Hong/Mama Chin/Sinsong (the few usual being called since i'm in UMT)
Birth Date: 25th april 1985
Eye Colour: black-darkbrownish
Hair Colour: supposedly dark brown but.... what do u expect? my mom is an excellent hairdresser! tee-hee
Righty or Lefty: Righty

Layer 2: On the Inside
My Heritage: Pure chinese, tho a lot of people think i'm mixed..
My Fears: ghosts? Ha ha, im afraid of leeches. SERIOUSLY afraid of them.
My Perfect Pizza: with lots of bacons, pepperoni, and cheese! oh oh ohh, and lots of mushrooms! (can't afford to eat those tho, LoL)

Layer 3: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, My Thoughts
First Waking Up: "ahh, i'm still in terengganu.."
My Bedtime: BLEACH! muahaha
Missed Memory: Moments with my friends back home, time when starting to get to know someone and be close, No, i am not saying who.. ke ke ke ke..

Layer 4: My Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi, wth the twist.. (",)
McD or Burger King: McD lor..
Adidas or Nike: Probably Nike..
Tea or Nestea: No preferences..
Chocolate or Vanilla: Oh, choc definitely
Cappuccino or Coffee: Like i said, i am not really a caffeine person..

Layer 5: Do You…
Smoke: Nope
Curse: Huahaha, all the time, all the time..
Take a shower: truthfully, no.. havent been bathing like a year now.. tsk tsk tsk..
Have a Crush: i'm a human with feelings, what do u think? ;)
Go to School: i wouldn't say "school" anymore la..
Want to get married: Hmm, not at the moment..
Believe in Yourself: yup..
Think you’re a health freak: HAH! never..

Layer 6: In the Past
Drank alcohol: yes
Gone to the Mall: Not gonna asnwer this
Been on stage: Not gonna asnwer this too
Eaten Sushi: SUSHI? Come on!!
Dyed your Hair: sure..

Layer 7: Have You Ever…
Played a stripping game: nope
Changed Who You Were to Fit In: Believe it a not, but it was loooooong time ago.. low self esteem.. sigh..

Layer 8: Age You’re Hoping
To be married: no idea

Layer 9: In A Guy/Girl (your opposite sex)
Best eye colour: One that sparkles? ahahaha
Hair colour: anything that look pleasant, nothing ah beng-ish
Short hair or long hair: again, nothing ah beng-ish

Layer 10: What Were You Doing
A minute ago: Chatting with my "grandson"
An hour ago: sleeping..
4.5 hours ago: still sleeping
1 month ago: preparing for coursenite
1 year ago: studying for finals too, i guess..

Layer 11: Finish the Sentences
I love: my family, my friends, and............my dogs!
I hate: leeches, backstabbers, people who take me for granted..
I need: trust, faith and love and ya, PEACE!

Nope, not tagging anyone.. except for Pelf, Pian and err, errr.. Then again, why am i always the last to be tagging people? boo-hoo.. :(

2007-03-29T10:37:00.000+08:00

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

I've got this from chungyee and like she said, it's pretty accurate for her. Hmm, i don't know about me, so i'm gonna ask you guys to be the judge.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

2007-03-28T22:05:00.000+08:00

I think my head started to get clearer each passing day,i duno whether is my new haircut or thanks to the peaceful home i'm in now. I'm back in Melaka, in case some of you don't know. So, back to where i was, i find myself always telling people around me to see the bigger picture, but today, i think i saw the bigger picture myself. A failure to a relationship is not always when two people cannot be together OR the relationship did not work. Failure, as i see it now is when you know there's something not right in one relationship and yet u chose to ignore it instead of trying to solve it, even if it means break-up. But then again, i wasn't in a relationship YET,, was i? haha, However, I am, indeed grateful that he showed me the way to a better "us", instead of drowning in our own fantasy and waking up to a pool of problems in the future. I trust his heart is or was true, and i trust that this decision made was best for the both of us. Ha ha, some of you might think that you guys know this loooooong time ago and that i'm little slow in time to be figuring this out only now. Well, that's me when i'm really blur and confused. No wait, i think i'll just make it more general. EVERYONE i knoe who walk on this earth is always confused and don't see the real deal behind every decision made when it first occurred. There. Gosh, gosh, i just hope i din say too many stupid things when i'm still in the hazy moments. Right now if you would have told me that i will find someone better in the future, you'd be surprise that i'll agree with u and believed it! Tee-hee

ps: thanks guys, for always being there for me. Like my favourite quote of all time says, "Friends are like siblings that God forgot to give". I still believe that. You guys are the best siblings i'm gonna have! Love you people! :)

2007-03-27T14:17:00.000+08:00

I realised today that watever i do in my daily routine, for example like go jogging in the morning with my mom, go shopping at MP, or even just doing my assignments and homework, it reminds me so much of him. Everywhere i turn to, i see something that makes him pop into my mind. It's not that i want that to happen but it just came so naturally. Sigh, then it makes me think that he's now back to his hometown, back to the arms of his beloved, once again, made up and live happily ever after. sigh.. i mean, Yay! Good for them.
(But sometime my evil twin inside just wish there's a drastic twist where when he's hugging her everything just felt really awkward and out of place, the feeling is different and and he realise that he sitll misses me and can't wait to come back to me)
Come on, i'm just kidding! Can't a girl have her own little fantasy? I'm not even sure if the (e)X-file is back in the picture or not so i'm just having my little own fun before i go to sleep. Even if it is, i should have no right to be dipping my nose into that matter anymore. Sigh, just another boring day to blog about my boring life. Hell NO! i'm living a great life! I'm happy, i have my family and my friends, i have a shelter (not to mention that it always black out in the middle of the day for 3 days straight now) BUT, i should be thankful. Just minus the love factor. I'm usually not good at that field. Oh well, pathetic, i know. Ha ha ha..

2007-03-25T19:04:00.000+08:00

I don't know why but i'm suddenly in a very good mood. i felt good about myself, i'm happier person. All those past is really in the past now. i've accepted the fact and altho i'm quite reluctant to say this but, i think i'm slowly moving on. I suddenly see it now, i get it now. Not all good things have to come to an end. We have to put an end to something good so that it would remain there. Gosh what was i thinking to continue dwelling in that endless circle of my own pity. I should be thankful that it happened. That's what makes me life so damn more colourful! He he. When i was reading thru all the messages, it came clear to me that it wasn't a lie, it wasn't fake, it wasn't superficial. i HAVE to trust my feelings, and it felt REAL. Come on, it wasn't so bad, we have to move on, cos if u don't, u duno what u're missng out there! But i stay true to my words, i believe that im never gonna find anyone like that cos he's just one of a kind, and really a gem. Oh well, my luck not to continue anything with him. But hell yeah, we're friends alrite, maybe in a few months time or few years maybe? heheheOh gosh, wish me luck!

2007-03-22T11:23:00.000+08:00

It has been really emotional and stressful for the last couple of weeks. So many things have been bottled up, so many things came up last minutes, and so many frustrations! My gosh, i almost couldn't breathe with all the tension that has been going around for some time now. And come on, does my phone NEED to give up on my at this moment? Like i haven't got enough problems already. Damn i should have listened to my hunch when it tells me that i SHOULD have copied the msgs earlier. Now i can't even see the screen. So no messages! i repeat, NO MESSAGES! Damn i desperately need to see.. Right now i have to pick up calls without knowing who's on the line. it's no difference from telekom's phone except that it's wireless. SHIT! i hate my life right now..

2007-03-19T20:45:00.000+08:00

Im going home...

2007-03-13T21:09:00.000+08:00

But I still do

By: Anonymous

Would you hate me if i say i still like you?

i still do

Would you feel disgusted if i say i still think of you?

i still do

Would you think that i'm stupid if i say i still hope that we can be together?

i still do

Would you get annoyed ifi say i still keep your messages you sent me?

i still do

Would you laugh if i say i still remember each and every word you said to me?

i still do

i still long for the moment when you say you wanna watch movies together

i still dream of the days that you would take me out for a dinner

i still hope to see your name appear in my phone whenever it rings

i still wait for the day you would sing the song for me

i still want to see you play in the field

i still wish you will be mine

What has been done is done, what has past is the history, What has gone will never come back. I understand that. But i still wish that i can freeze those moments forever and hope that it never ends.

i still do

2007-03-12T22:08:00.000+08:00

Coursenite is finally over. That, hopefully gonna be the last activity i am gonna be involved in for the rest of the days i am in UMT. But it is definitely the last in this semester. After all those hardwork myself and my friends have put in, i think we scored A for effort. The whole coursenite was so-so (in my own very honest opinion) and i KNOW we can do so much better if we got the cooperation from all those who is suppose to help us. Whenever i think of the coursenite, i only manage to give a long sigh. I was speechless. The outcome of the event didn't match the effort that we put into. It's such a shame that we couldn't make a memorable coursenite for our seniors. Trust me, i truly want this event to be a huge success so that our seniors can enjoy their last 2 months here and drown themselves in a nite of bliss, hanging out with friends and lecturers, dine together, enjoy the performances and even just feeling the atmosphere of the surroundings. Sad to say, i dun think we accomplished that. Maybe some of them whom i talked to said that it was fun and all, but i somehow feel that they are being nice. Sigh..
Quite frankly, i wasn't really in the mood for photography session but i got to admit, after taking those pictures with those close friends, juniors and seniors, i kinda felt better about the whole nite. And to see them so eager abouot the souvenirs really made my day. Alas, our hardwork kinda paid off. Made me really wanna cry. For those who are reading this, i really THANK ALL OF YOU or coming to the coursenite and making it happen.

2007-03-08T18:04:00.000+08:00

HOW CAN I BE SO STUPID AND OBLIVIOUS?

2007-03-08T17:37:00.000+08:00

When i've chosen this road, i knew that i'll be really damned and heart broken. I realised i am just a factor in making him realise that his heart is still with someone else. At first i tot i wouldn't care and still, i don't wanna surpress my feelings. For me, it is HARDER to surpress it. I rather get hurt over and over again and still not give up on what i believed in. I want to love, love the person whom i don't think i'll be able to find another to substitute. I want to love, love the person whom i think is gonna make me happy. I want to love, love the person whom i would sacrifice everything for. But to love this person, it is causing me too much pain. Words that were being uttered, i know they were not meant for me. Words that were being uttered, i know it won't be uttered to me. The feeling is incredibly undescribable. First heartache has already break my heart into pieces, no, maybe powdered.. I, myself wondered, how long i stand stand this torture i put upon myself..

2007-03-05T12:15:00.000+08:00

Another chapter in my life has been closed. This time, i've fallen hard. Have you really enjoyed a movie so much, that u dread for the movie to come to its ending? Have you read a book so good, you didn't wanna flip to its last page? Have you dreamt of something so wonderful, you just didn't wanna wake up? Well, the feeling i had was all that 3 and even maybe more. i ask myself what do i learn from this experience? Timing. It's a hell of an important factor, for a lot of things. You may be blinded for some reason but in the end, you'll see the light somehow. i do not blame anyone for this mistake because to me, it is a beautiful mistake, a mistake that i would sacrifice anything to go through the same thing again. My courage, my beliefs and my faith...sigh, i just wish it hadn't been taken as well. it shouldn't have. But the truth remains, it's just another bump in my life and i've ridden over it and for the moment, just suffering the from the pain that the bump caused me. Don't worry, i still have faith that i'll recover, soon enuf, i promise!

2007-03-03T20:18:00.000+08:00

Coco Lee - Before I Fall In Love

My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
'Cause my heart's been fooled before
Am I'm just seeing what I want to see
Or is it true
Could you really be

Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love

And I'm at the point of no return
So afraid of getting burned
But I wanna take a chance
Oh please
Give me a reason to believe
Say you're the one that you'll always be

Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love

It's been so hard for me
To give my heart away
But I would give my everything
Just to hear you say...

Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Through all my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love

Songs that suits my mood, whenever i'm feeling the blues....

2007-03-03T20:00:00.000+08:00

Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

1. I laugh instead of whine when i'm in pain.

2. I MUST have my comforter, yes i repeat, COMFORTER to cover some part of my body when i sleep no matter how crazily hot the weather is, and the comforter HAVE TO BE rightside up.

3. How about........ I enjoy eating watermelons but i hate the smell of the watermelon flavoured chewing gums. I'll puke, seriously..

4. I have loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooog "antennaes". Period.

5. Damn, 2 more to go.. Erm, caffeine don't have any effects on me watsoever. I'll still sleep the next second i have them.

6. Come on now, am i that weird? Why must 6? Tee-hee..

Okay, now there's the part i am looking forward. People that i would wanna tag......
1. Pelfy
2. Pian
3. Aiya, can i tag Adam again? He he he..

2007-02-14T12:37:00.000+08:00

Lesson learnt about having tosai.

1. Never eat overnite tosai, when it became soggy, hard and tasteless. Especially when it's tosai telur.

2. Never eat tosai with the curry being cold. It's sticky, sour-ish and weird.

(Just so when u think that's bad, go to No. 3)

3. Never, NEVER eat tosai with chilli sauce! Even if u can eat anything with chilli sauce but not tosai. It's the weirdest taste ever!

There you go. My experience in encountering tosai this morning. Sad to say, i regretted having it cos i lurrrrvvve the tosai, not to mention with it's HOT!

2007-02-01T14:29:00.000+08:00

OVERWHELMED

2007-01-27T10:55:00.000+08:00

This is pretty cool! Thanks Pian!

Altho i don't know half of them but the most important of all.... TYRA BANKS!! I'm 72% look-a-like Tyra! How cool is dat? Hehehehe (",)

2007-01-24T16:26:00.000+08:00

Last weekend i went down to KL to get out of all my problems that has been accumulating. Damn i need some fresh air to breathe, i need to see my parents, i need their presence, i need my mom to hug me, scold me, pamper me, nag me, most importantly, hold me. I only managed to hug her for less tha 30 seconds and i almost cried when my mom was caressing me. Felt sooo hommie. I almost blurted out that i wanna go home and take a break. Obviously i did not because 1. they wouldn't let me. 2. it's just gonna make them worry more about me. Although i felt that they sensed something was wrong, they just kept quiet like i did. Nothing needed to be said. Then we had simple but satisfying dinner. Felt so good to be eating on the same table as my parents again. i just miss EVERYTHING about them.

I miss home.. :(

2007-01-24T15:34:00.000+08:00

OH-MY-GOSH!

I knoe i knoe, I KNOE i haven't been blogging like for centuries! Damn i miss blogging now that the connection at my house went down the drain. I don't even knoe where to start writing what has happened for the past few weeks. What i can do is, i can sum it all up with one word; CRAZY, oh no, HECTIC, or maybe STUPID? aiya, i don't really care. It has been pretty shitty and hell ever since the starting of this semester. Everything is so stressful, sooo many obstacles, so many conflicts. Sigh, first time in KUSTEM i felt so drained and dreadful and homesick. Period.

For those of you who still don't know or haven't heard about it, Marine Biology Second year are organizing an annual dinner (in this case it's a party) for the 3rd year seniors to bid farewell *SOB*. Well, this is one hectic that i really wanna get out of. Too many ppl giving opinions, too little ppl doing what they are suppose to do. Sigh, sigh, sigh. However, i HOPE and i THINK that all the problems are starting to be sorted out one by one and it should be a very successful party in the end! If that's the case, i dare to say that it's all thanks to the family!!! hehehe

The courses that i'm taking this semester is really really boring. Firstly, Aquatic Ecology - i never understood a thing the lecturer is babling in the lab or lecture room, seems like he's talking by himself. We're suppose to have 2 field trips under Aquatic Ecology but looks like it's not gonna happen cos this short sem is sooo packed, which is why we couldn't find any suitable time to go. *DAMN* Next super boring subject is Biotech. DON'T BE FOOL! it is NOT interesting as it sounds. I barely see him in the lectures, frankly speaking i only went to 1 lecture out of 2. 2!!!! only 2! sigh, his lab work, RUBBISH! Can't understand a single word that is coming out of the demo's mouth. He has this problem pronouncing the letter "R". I don't mean to insult or laugh at him, but seriously, he is making the problem worse when he mumble thru his speech. *SIGH* Then we have Aquatic Pollution. This lecturer, super super cute lecturer whom is going to retire soon. I have no problem with the way he's teaching, at least he has some system going on. The stressful thing is that the lab work hasn't been so successful due to some unnecessary reasons *STRESS*. Communication science is okay so far, the only thing that giving me the headache is dat 1. I am still struggling to look for my fyp (final year project) and now when i finally got the title that i want, i HAVE to find out that i am the only one working alongside with that b*tch. SHIT. Let's just cross our fingers we don't go sampling at the same time.. PLEAASSEEEEE!!! *HELP* Lastly Planktonology. One word STRESSSSS!. She's so strict and we have an assignment every week and presentation! Aiya, tired. We have to look for online journals, choose a title, show it to her for approval and then start doing the presentation.

By the end of this semester, we're going to the Industrial Training for 8 weeks (have i mention it before?). It has been easy for me to choose cos i knoe exactly whre i wanna go; AQUARIA KLCC! Woohoo! It's time for me to enjoy my time during the 8 weeks. Lots of diving i hope! hehe, but the process of handing in the resume was nerve wrecking as well. Shit we don't knoe how many they are gonna picked and we don't knoe our second choice IF and only if we are rejected.

Anything to add anyone?

2006-12-30T23:14:00.000+08:00

I realised today u can't please everyone. Things that u have done u may think that others might like/love/appreciate it but no, that's not the case. U might even offend someone without realising that it is offensive. There just just some random things about u that just tick other ppl off. I knoe this becos i'm in a middle of something that is kinda ridiculous to be fighting over and both parties never seem to see that it actually can be solved. The main problem is that none of the parties wanted it to be solved. The first thing that came into my mind when i first known about this "fight" i just tot i want nothing in this, but of cos, i kept that to myself. It's so dreadful to see my close friends in this kind of situation where they don't talk, giving names and acted like they were 10 years old (and they both know it). Sigh.. I just wish things can turn back to normal soon..

2006-12-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

Overall result: GOOD

Field Work: B+

very unexpected.. Sad..

2006-12-13T00:23:00.000+08:00

I came to realise that i am not ready to get involved in another new relationship no matter how great and perfect that person is for me. The reason to it is not because i was hurt badly but the experience had just went against in everything i have and used to believed in my whole life. Previously when i was in the rebound period, i came about a few guys who might be interested in me. Sad to say, they are just not my cup of tea. But yeah, that gave my confidence a great boost and i felt like i can do anything in the world. My point is maybe i am sending the wrong signals and end up getting some unneccesary attention from other people and then hurting them. I asked myself plenty of times why did it happened. Then it dawned to me that i am trying to prove to myself that i still got the attraction and there are other ppl out there seeing my true personality by looking thru my protective shield. Is the outlook of a person really more important than their personality? I asked myself that everyday and it scared me from day to day when people i see and story i heard is screaming clearly to me saying YES, IT IS!! That leads to another quetion which i would ask myself. What if one day, a guy came along and he said he did not mind it, would u accept him and take the risk of getting hurt again when he changes his mind in the future? Then the next question will be, can beggars be choosers? and then there will be next question, and then next, and then next.. It happened like a cascading waterfall and it'll never end! In the end i might tell myself that i'm thinking too much. After being single for 7 months, I really am enjoying being single at the moment. Sometimes i'm even glad to be single especially during times when i heard story of terrible fights or cold war among couples. But i begin to feel the single blues, the loneliness begin to set in and are getting worse. This singlehood is different when u haven't experienced a real relationship before. Now that u have, u kinda missed the times when u felt good about having someone in ur life. Right now i'm just afraid that these blues would drive me into doing something that i go against in doing. For those who are happily in a relationship, please keep up the good work and may u have all the happiness in the world. Signing off now.. Peace!

2006-12-09T13:31:00.000+08:00

Pian, Kuan, Adam and Jimmy came Melaka for a 2 days 1 night trip last week. It's a waste that Azri, Jeff and Hanu couldn't join us as well, if not i bet it's gonna be hell lot more fun. Well, u knoe, "family vacation" is suppose to be fun. I for one to be the most excited one becos it was the first time that i'm gonna be a tour guide to my fellow friends from campus and i see it as a challenge to make them as comfortable and as satisfied as possible. It's too bad that they couldn't make it during the weekends so they will just have to miss out the night market a.ka. the Jonker Walk. Oh well, it's even more challenging to bring them there in the daylight becos the weather is freaking hot!! I couldn't help it but to carry umbrellas (just in case it rains, weather is crazy!) One way or the other, i got protection from them, the umbrellas i mean! And so, on the first day, i've waited for their calls at my house, they told me they'll be reaching around 10am. I'm gonna have to fetch Kuan from Melaka Sentral and meet the guys at Melaka Mall at Ayer Keroh. I escorted the guys to the bus station to wait for Kuan, we saw her in approximately 20 minutes later. She's still as lovely and sweet little tiny girl, wearing her pink, knee-length skirt and a beige, V neck top which made her looking even skinnier! (girl, u ought to work out a new wardrobe or at least stop buying clothes that's gonna show off ur weaknesses, hehe). After a short chat in Jimmy's car, we went straight back to have breakfast at a mamak nearby my new house and went home to chill just a bit, watched Happy Feet while calling Azri to tease him about not making it with us. I can really hear his disappointment but for me, he's still not making enuf effort to come. Haha, so he'll get his torture when new sem starts. It's not gonna be complete if u dun explore the host's room when u visit their house rite? So they went to my room and then the straight on million dollar question from Pian. "This is ur wardrobe? It's so small, not like i've imagined it." Come on, what do u expect? I'm not THAT spoiled am i? and my surname isn't Hilton and u expect to see HUGE wardrobe? hehehehehe. Misconception there! So after jumping around my bed and Kuan fighting with Pian over a doll, we then we headed to Mahkota Parade (of course, there aint other better place, pathetic, i knoe) and HAH! it was a looooong day man. Before that, we stopped by the Lotus Inn to check our the room rates and it;s pretty cheap, RM70 per night with 2 double beds. I was like, damn that's cheap! Hope that it's not those sleazy, dirty, full of cockroaches and public toilet and bathroom kind of motels that u see in Hong Kong dramas. How am i gonna let the guys stay at such place? Gimme the creeps just thinking about it. Luckily by the day ends, i called them and Adam said the place was really neat and comfy. (phew) Lots of shopping, lots of eating and lots of gossiping after that at MP! Pian with his scandalous Polo tees, Jimmy with with beads necklace (super ganas) and Adam with his very cool helmet-shaped ashtray. Kuan? As usual the low profile one. But u'll be very surprised what she did during this trip to Melaka. After all the shopping, it's time for Sushi King!! Yoo-hoo! First time having sushi with the gang and made a new discovery. JIMMY CAN'T EAT MAYO! Surprisingly we didn't notice that when we were constantly having something with mayo back in KT and i seriously missed out the clues. Didn't see if he was really eating the mayo or not. Heck, who would have known? :) At Sushi King, we managed to add the pressure for Azri, we sent him a picture of us via MMS and i'm sure it's killing him. U bet i'm playing the guilt card. LoL. Satisfied with the mental torture for Azri, we went to TESCO to look for candles that Jimmy wanted. U should see how the guys were doing their shopping. It's so....... undescribable. Hahahaha. Instead of getting the candles, he bought some accesories for his car, some food and drink when they get back to the hotel and eh-hurrmmm, shades, anyone? Jimmy and Pian we both pleased at the shades they bought and Pian was like,"I'm gonna get a contact lense cos this sunglass is so cool." Haha, RM10 is damn cheap and worth the buy. Fortunately they aren't hasty enough to wear them there and then. Excuse me? it's night! Hello?? hahahahaa. Since I'm not suppose to bring them to any pubs or disco or clubs so enjoy the nightlife in Melaka, i'll have to think of the most appropriate, safe and popular spot in Melaka, Pepsi mamak stall at Kota. I noe we just had dinner but let's just say we needed a place to sit down and rest out poor feet and chat. As soon as we reached there and sat down for like 10 minutes, i heard someone calling my full name and when i turned, there goes yooyee and kenny with their own gang chilling out at the mamak as well. Like i said, it's a popular spot for the youngsters! To proof this even better, a guy at the next table looked familiar which later i came to realise, it's the guy from Pakard Photo Shop whom failed to introduce me any Underwater Camera a few weeks ago (long story) So what can i say? The first day went by pretty rad and first day as the tour guide: PASSED! Picture below is just something that i wish i could bring back to KT for Anita, Leeann and Sharon.

The next day, we met for breakfast at about 9am. Roti Canai, Nasi Lemak and teh tarik was the typical breakfast. TYPICAL after staying at KT for a year and a half. So after breakfast, went back to my old house and guess what? New hair for Kuan and Pian. Kuan's gonna have a very dramatic change like Mollie Sue in ANTM Season 6. Hah! I was kinda worried that the new haircut might scare her mom or something. But hmm, the result turned out to be pretty bad-ass! Rock on Roll girl!! hahahaa.. Yup, we tried to change her a long time ago, she's too a goody-two-shoe. Easy target for big bullies. Tough it up girl! While Kuan is having her hair cut, the guy started to roam and went to my old room, which they were pretty impressed (it's old) Couldn't help it but to take more pictures using the new phone of Jimmy's. 2 megapixel ain't bad. After all the haircut, we rest for a while before heading to the A'Famosa and the area around there (u noe where it is). there won't be any excuse not to take weird pictures, that's what we're good at (as always) so u can see funny poses, in 2 black and white, even advertisement style u noe like those Visit Melaka 2006 or something. Tee-hee. Then the routine is like 1 destination 1 picture sent to Azri (poking-fun) and not bad, he's still alive and kicking. He managed to reply us with really sarcastic comment about the pictures we sent. In a way we're updating what we're doing and where we went. It's the same as sharing it with him so that he don't feel left out, correct? Hehehehehe (evil). The Hike up to the A'Famosa wasn't that tiring becos we took the short cut so i did not pass out or anything, neither did anyone else. The view from up above was not breathtaking, i repeat, NOT breathtaking, the climbing was. Poor Jimmy didn't get his chance to really enjoy the history of Melaka as much as he wanted to but i do hope he enjoyed Melaka. It turned out that they know more about Melaka history more than i do. I'm a bad, unprofessional tour guide. But an excellent Photographer! Kaka! We didn't waste much time up the hill and went down to the Dataran Pahlawan. They seemed surprise when i told them below the Dataran it's actually the shopping complex we went yesterday. Then we went to the a big circle for more sight seeing then to the Jonker Street, yup, during the day. It wasn't so bad actually except that the weather is hot. Went in almost every shop we pass by, acting as tourists and shopping again. Pian and Adam bought the Voodoo keychains, Kuan bought 2 pairs of new earrings (rock and roll) and Jimmy and Adam bought 2 wooden Kanatas. Hait! I wouldn't dare o provoke them when we get back to KT. Or should i call the interpol or something to report of youngsters owning a weapon without lisense! hahaha. The guys were pretty eager especially Pian when i told them the Orang Utan shop at Jonker is selling uniquely design t-shirts that showed the free spirit of Charles Cham (the artist, of cos) They got more anxious when i said that they give out free condom with each purchase! Kuan just managed to shake her head and said nothing. Just smile and giggled. Sigh, girl, Rock and Roll!! (Huahahahaha) We chilled at the Orang Utan shop for quite a while, chit-chatting with the salesperson there and jotting down at the guest book. Damn, there goes Jimmy with his long tales to the never never land. At the end, he wrote something regarding us, the marine biology class of 2008. 10 points for u! Oh, speaking of which, Kuan, you have to keep up the score so that u wont stay at the bottom of the pack. Since the shop doesn't allow photography, then we might as well just settle with this road map of the Orang Utan shops around that area. See? It's still unique even it's just the road map. For those who have been to the Jonker, it's hard to miss out this shop cos it's painted in bright orange and there's Orang Utan drawn on the wall. Since Kuan is catching the 5.30pm bus, so we decided to eat lunch at MP food court (please forgive me, i seriously have no idea where i can take them) then after that we sent kuan to the bus station and then we headed to the Kg. lapan Pasar Malam just for a walk before the guys leave for KL. It was another day went by and i should say, i was dead tired but at the same time relieved because if they were to stay for another day or two, i would have no idea where to bring them. More Historical places? I don't think so. I'm so poor at history and i'm never gonna get any better with it. Second day as a tour guide: FAILED!!

2006-11-22T15:57:00.000+08:00

i have been back in Malacca for almost a week now and i can tell u that, almost all of my KUSTEM friend has ben complaining how bored they are and wish the family were together again.. i must admit, sometime of the day i felt the same, especially at time when i need a good laugh, that's definitely the time when i hope i was back in KT and being together with them..I realise that my friends has kinda balanced out my life, different friend has their own different roles in my life, i have the sensitive, caring, those that u turn to for advice and opinions and then those u hang out with and had good laughs, shares the best moment of ur life together as a bunch. But it never occur to me that i have been one of those few lucky ones to have these bunch of them whom i treated sincerely and being treated the same in return. Yes, we have our ups and downs and i suppose thats what makes our bond even STRONGER. You might think what the heck am i talking about these friendship crap? for one i knoe when all hell break lose, ur friends around u would always be there.. no matter what. i am not embarassed to say that i treasure friends more than i treasure love at this point. Call me bitter but that's how i look at it now.. No offense to those who are in a good and happy relationship now. Just voicing my tots.. Oh well, just watched Casino Royale and it's kinda let down for me. Just not my type of Bond.. hehehee..Oh ya, got new hairstyle now.. hmm.. wasn't what i've expected but it's okie.. hehee.. still mom's hard work.. :)

2006-11-12T22:02:00.000+08:00

I'm estatic about going home this time. It has been like i duno how long since i have been back. I knoe it wasn't a big a deal but this has been the longest time ever i've been away from my family. For some reason, the nearer it is, the more i feel distant from it. I have a dateline to catch before going home. So it's like midnight train for 2 days until the 14th November, 4.30 p.m. I don't think i'm gonna have any sleep at all becos it's really not enough time for me. Hehe, can't blame anybody except for myself.

Yeah, going camping with mom and dad with with 4X4!

2006-10-29T19:51:00.000+08:00

I did badly for my first paper. I don't know if it's because i hadn't had enough sleep the night before or i didn't work hard enough on the subject or i just din pay attention to the paper. I swear i have studied the equations; i understand what the question required, i know which equation to use but i just couldn't figure out how to apply the the correct numbers. When i see the paper, my mind just went blank and my brain went dead. I felt scared and chickened out. When i screened thru the paper for the first time, i knew how to do it, but then i read the questions thoroughly, it just didn't hit me and i knoe i was so f*cked. After 2 hours of struggling with my brain and my sweaty and shaky hands, i came out of the hall, defeated. I still feel very disppointed, bumped out and kinda had the serves-you-right-for-getting-lazy thing going on in my head and my mind keeps on playing back the exact kind of stab in the heart when i heard that the answers to those questions is just another-squeeze-of-my-brain away. I duno what else to do besides putting that aside when focus on the next 3 papers. But then again, when i think back the damage i did in that paper was enough for me to stop working hard on the other papers cos it won't make me be in that dean list again this semester (which i deperately wanna stay) Don't misunderstood me, i did not want it for the sake of the name or glamour, i really wanna challenge myself and see how far i can go (alrite, and maybe kick some b*tches a**) but seriously, this is the first time that i am being serious about my studies and actually making some progress. I feel like this is my turning point into becoming a better person. I tried to cheer myself up a little by crapping and laughing like drunk people but i guess the results were obvious.. :(
i wish i am back in malacca..

2006-10-26T13:44:00.000+08:00

I remembered once i saw a movie where a mother was consoling her daughter after her heart was broken by a man. The mother was telling her that only time can wash away all the pain and in the meantime just go on with life until one day, that person suddenly pops up in your mind, you know that you already forgotten that person.

I think that just happened to me. The msg i received from 10 o'clock made me realise that i have already "let go" of my past relationship. Well, not exactly the content of the msg that made me think that way but the reaction i have when i got it. I realised that the feeling was never like that throughout the whole time we were together. Weird isn't it? Does that show i wasn't that in love with him than i tot i was? Does that mean i was just forcing myself to love this person altho he did not treat me the way i tot he should? Despite how we ended, now i know that both of us were just faking the whole time. Haha, who am i kidding? Now i have no reason at all to be mad at him for dumping me or watsoever, and i have no more anger for him. None. Now, he is just a friend whom i will be keeping in touch with once a week (plus minus). In fact, i think i should thank him for clearing up the situation and stop us from pretending.

So girls, i am officially FREE like a bird. Free! FRee! FrEe! FreE!

2006-10-25T01:56:00.000+08:00

It's 2 o'clock in the morning and i can't seem to be closing my eyes and dozes of. It has became a habit (or maybe a trend?) since the preparation for oral presentation on the field trip. Since then, we never go to bed earlier then 2 am. Its always the same; plan to jump into bed at 11 pm but then will be working on something (be it chatting, sms, finishing up a report, assignment, or even folding clothes) we always end up sleeping after 2 or sometimes 3am. Right now, i'm in a mess, it's such a huge mess and i duno where to start cleaning. Guy A started to annoy me yet again after he has been quiet for a litte while. 29th will be my first 2 papers and i have tonnes of report that i have yet to finish and honestly, i'm quite clueless about how to do it. I'm so screwed right now becos i really have no mood to do it. I duno how i am suppose to divide my time to do all those stuff and 10 o' clock is constantly in my mind. Things got worse when the msg came. Argghhh.. girls, tell u guys the story later..

The fact that we went to the library and borrowed 10 f*cking books didn't much tho. There was too much distractions and i blame myself for it. The internet is really a good source of entertainment. I just finish the whole of Sex and the City season 1 yesterday. Come to think of it, It's just 6 hours or continuous watching, that's all. Let's see, www.youtube.com can't be very dangerous too, it has everything that u could possibly find. i just checked out Punk'd, MTV Movie Awards, Songs and Tyra Bank show. Hah! i think i better go to sleep.. *yawn* NOT!!

2006-10-21T21:38:00.000+08:00

I asked for a sprinkle of
luck and i get a pot of it.
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Couldn't stop smiling....

2006-10-13T18:30:00.002+08:00

This picture reminds me somewhat of myself, trying to look for protection but it kept blown away by the wind. I am far away from home, Nobody i can rely on; not just a shoulder to cry on but to be my spiritual and emotional pillar of strength. What's there left for me to do? Should i just stare blankly up the sky and hoping that miracles will come pouring down or search for the miracles myself? It is very often ppl say that happiness is what u pursue, it is in ur own hand; if u dont go for it, it'll never come to u. It kinda makes sense but sometimes, i just wanna make sure how much FATE play it's part in my life. Luck? Fate? Karma? It is something so mysterious and unseen but felt. It depends on whether u believe in it or not and how much u believe in it. Obsessed? Never. However, when ur world suddenly turned upside down, u would somehow hope that miracles happen and u would be the luckiest person on earth. How sure are u? Can u put a number to it? Can u be sure that other ppl are not happier than u or at least equally happy as u? Nope, u just felt it. And now, i feel that i need my Miracles, wth the capital M.